Grace Upon Grace

Hiatus

2011-07-21T05:28:00.001-07:00

Well, I think I've waited a sufficient amount of time between blogs. **blushes** It seems blogging has lost its spark for me, and I've lost my time for it. I'm not quite sure I have a very large "fan" base, so thankfully, I doubt there are too many broken hearts at my lack of blogging.

And, it doesn't look like I'll be keeping consistent with this any time soon. In fact, I think I'll be taking a rather lengthy hiatus from blogging. I intend to keep up with the blogs of others--I thoroughly enjoy reading those, my friends! However, this coming school year promises to be BUSY. VERY BUSY.

I've been given a "new job" this year and will be the new Director of Music at Indiana Christian Academy. EEK. Such a daunting task ahead. But I know God's grace is sufficient and that He has a perfect plan in allowing things to unfold as they have. Perhaps my experiences as such will provide for some interesting blog material--we shall see.

Until then, know that all is well and that you can keep up with me via Facebook statuses for now, dear adoring fans. :) And thanks to those of you who blog so faithfully--I enjoy reading what you think and do. Maybe some day I'll pull it together enough to do the same. But for now, I need to devote 100% of me to this new ministry and staying in tune with the Master Musician. :)

Enjoy the rest of your summer! :)

How Did I Get Here?

2011-03-03T11:15:00.000-08:00

Have you ever "woken up" and wondered--how in the world did I get here?

I did that. Just the other day, in fact.

I'm not talking about literally waking up, of course. I'm talking about mentally realizing--I am not where I thought I'd be or maybe want to be...or maybe for you it's a positive thing--how did I get to such a great place?! (I hope for you, it is...)

It's intriguing and a bit depressing to reflect on the choices you've made or the reactions you've displayed and wonder why you let yourself become the type of person you thought you never would. What makes someone become bitter? What makes us discontent with things all around us? What makes us angry or frustrated? Surely such cancers are not born over night...so how do we get...there?

I don't know yet. Without bearing all of my soul here, I'm struggling with some of these things. I think I have been for several months now, without even really knowing it. Then one day I realized that I was indeed a bit bitter...a little frustrated...a smidge discontent...things I don't like to be. Things I know are wrong to be.

I wish I could look back on my life as God sees it and know where the trouble started. I wish I could ensure that such things never happen again. Truth is, though, being human and all...I'm afraid it'll be a long road to becoming the woman I want to be for Christ.

So where does that leave me? How does someone still function well, find balance in life, overcome Satan's snares that threaten to overtake, and still go on doing what he or she has to do? Nothing short of grace can provide that kind of strength.

And nothing short of grace has been given.

I don't have all of the answers. I don't even know where to begin sometimes. But I do know Who is in control. I do know that He has not left me. I do know that He is for me...so no one--nothing--not even me myself--can stand against Him in me.

Perhaps the "how I got here" doesn't matter as much as the "where I'm going now"...and the "how He plans to get me there." And perhaps...He allowed me to "get here," so He could be seen more clearly in who I will become.

What I've Been Up To...

2011-01-27T16:40:00.000-08:00

THIS:

Yeah. When my desk is this messy, I know life has overtaken me. (I do have to admit that there are other teachers with messier desks--but mine is neat, as a rule, so this is unusual for me...)

The hangers are from cheerleading uniforms I washed, the books contain copies to be made and lesson plans to finish, and the stacks of papers (both in the desk and in the filing systems) have to be graded. EEK! :) That's only a small portion of what I've got to do this week!

Hence--NO UPDATES! I know, I know...you're all utterly crushed. But, life the past 3 weeks has been crazy busy (more so than usual).

I'd appreciate your prayers for all that I've got going on. I feel selfish asking for it, but I also know I'll literally lose my mind if I don't have God's strength and help for the next few months (or 75 years...right?!) to accomplish all He's given me to do. Until then, checkout my other blog HERE, to catch up on my struggling efforts and my friends' often triumphant efforts to attain balance! Happy week to all of you! :)

{.Sherry.}

DA BEARS

2011-01-23T11:52:00.001-08:00

I'm a Bears fan.

I was born a Bears fan...no...seriously. My grandpa was a Chicago-born Bears fan, and he raised tried-and-true Bears fans. My dad married my mom, who became a Bears fan. (Can't live in the house with my dad and not be one!) Thus, my sister and I are Bears fans.

I still love the Colts. Always will! But there's nothing that says football season like my dad in his Bears vest with his Bears scarf, wearing his Bears hat and Bears bracelet (made by my aunt who lives in a Bears house), sitting beneath the glow of his Bears window sign.

So...I proudly wear my Bears sweatsack and my Bears bracelet on game days:

And if my grandpa can watch from heaven, I'd really love to see DA BEARS win the Super Bowl--just for him. And for my dad, too, who instilled in me a lot more than a love for DA BEARS.

BEAR DOWN.

Weekly Update

2011-01-10T08:52:00.000-08:00

For those of you who care, I updated my other blog today, too.

Lives in the Balance

I intend to update there more regularly than this one, but I'll do my best to keep at both. It's part of finding balance, you know. :)

Anyway, last week was kind of rough--lots to do, little time to do it, trying to get back in gear after Christmas break--you know the type of week. But I was constantly reminded of God's grace and sustaining power. It's amazing how much more full life can seem when one is trying to find a good balance between work, home, church, and every other aspect of life! :) Not everything got done that I wanted to get done, but the important things did and life goes on.

I've decided that my blog here is really going to function more as an update zone for events, thoughts, etc., and that my main efforts will be put into the co-blog I began last week. My goal is to really succeed at balancing my life in every way and encouraging those who are on the journey with me, thus, I need to put my mind to work on that blog a bit more, I think. Surely you understand. :)

I hope your weeks are going well, blog friends. If you have a chance, hop over to my other blog and poke around. It's a work in progress, and it's not all mine, but there are some interesting things going on there. I'd love for you to join us on our journey! :) Stay positive and focused this week--God is bigger than all of your problems, and He always keeps His promises! :)

New Balance, New Blog

2011-01-06T11:51:00.000-08:00

In an effort to encourage one another, to stay accountable to each other, and to chronicle our journey to health and a balanced life, my friends and I have launched another blog,

Lives in the Balance

We're hoping it's a smashing success to not only motivate ourselves but maybe some others, too! :) It's still in its infant stages, so be patient, but definitely plan to visit as you have a chance.

I'm discovering very quickly how unbalanced my life has become over the past few years. For each of us, balance is probably something different, as are those things which "unbalance," us. Follow me on a ponder:

This ponder began a few months ago when I heard someone on television talking about finding balance in her own life; only this person was finding balance by practicing some kind of wacky Asian religious meditation where she realized that "God was in her, as her..." I laughed out loud at this idea, but began thinking about the idea of balance...

I began pondering what balance really is and how little I seem to have of it. From healthful food choices, to healthy living, to spiritual choices, to ministry...with so many responsibilities and choices and things coming at me (all of us?!) daily, it's quite easy to feel overwhelmed and begin losing focus. Personally, I began placing so much focus on my ministry and work that my personal life and spiritual life began to take a definite backseat to everything else. It's a scary place to be when your ministry becomes more important than those to whom and for Whom you minister.

I had a bit of a break down over Christmas break. I looked at myself afresh and realized I had let certain areas of my life spin out of control. I cried out to the Lord to forgive my weakness and pride. I begged Him to begin changing me. I felt as if a new stage in my life were being born.

So...here I am. Sharing my vision with others, praying for God's strength, and knowing that if He wills balance in my life, He will help me to produce it! Part of the vision is realizing that I can't do it all--nor do I have to. I am called to many things in God's Word, but not to do everything--no matter how good something might be!

It will be a long journey, I know. I've got years of unhealthy living, pride, and unbalanced choices to undo. But with God's grace and strength and the encouragement of my friends (hence the new blog), I know there will be success. I'd be pleased for others to join the journey...the balanced life awaits!

True Friends

2011-01-05T05:32:00.000-08:00

I was reminded last night of how amazing godly friends can be! Most of us have had friends who we consider "best" friends to whom we can tell all, to whom we can bare our souls...but some friends go beyond that and become the kind that encourage you spiritually and make you a better person. Those are the kinds of friends I have.

You wouldn't know it from looking at them, but these gals are some of my spiritual rocks in life! :) I love that we can share anything going on in our lives and that I always feel better after having been in their presence. You know you've found a great friend when just being with him or her makes you feel closer to God!

(This picture was, as you can see, taken at our after church New Year's Eve "bash." 'Twas fun.:) )

I have other friends who encourage me, of course, but there are few who rebuke me and love me in the same breath as much as these ladies do. I marveled anew last night after spending a few hours with them--how blessed we are to have friends who show us Christ and love our souls.

What friends are you thankful for? Do you have friends who literally help you grow spiritually? If you don't--you should get some new friends! :) Seriously...godly friends are a blessing and almost a necessity of life! :) Thank you, Elizabeth, Laura, and Paula, for being true friends at all times.

Day 1 Down...

2010-12-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

I did it. I started working on the "Couch to 5K" today. It was one of things I just felt I had to do for myself...I'm so tired of wishing I were healthier, thinner, etc. I'm tired of making excuses and giving in and being the ugly girl in the corner.

My friend, Myra, inspired me. Her blogs and videos about her 5K experiences made me realize--I can do this. I NEED to do this. I need to change.

Therefore, I've declared 2011 as my year of change. Eating better, exercising more, reading more of God's Word and trying to keep a general balance to my life are part of the goals. I've spent quite a bit of time praying about it and pleading with God to make such changes a reality in my life.

As I was running tonight (which, as a side note, felt good for the first few laps...), I thought, "Wow...I can't imagine doing this for 3 whole miles. I can't even imagine doing this for the rest of this mile!" I fought with myself--is it really worth it? Can I really do this? Why am I doing this?

The answers came pretty quickly--yes, it's worth it. Yes, I can do this. And I'm doing it for a lot of reasons. I'll philosophize on those in later blogs, but suffice it to say, I'm trying to be serious about this and really see God do a great work. I know I sure can't do it in my own strength. It's our own stupidity, laziness, and bad choices that get us in the messes we're in, but it's never our own strength that can get us out of those messes.

As I sit here, slightly tired from the run, slightly sleepy from the day, and slightly full of drinking Detox Tea (but it was good...seriously...), I realize how content sticking to the plan for the day has been. I ate fruits, veggies, lo-cal or no-cal foods, ran/walked for 30 minutes, drank multiple glasses of water and 4 glasses of Detox Tea, and managed to still get all of my school work done. There are some things I didn't get to--but those things will wait. I'm going to balance things this year. And if I can't DO everything or please EVERYONE...well...that's ok.

So, stay tuned. I'm hoping to blog more (but don't hold your breath) as a means of accountability for myself. The 3 people who read it can rejoice with me or encourage me as they will. And I'm hoping...praying, really...that everyone, including me, is pleasantly surprised by the time 2012 rolls around at the great changes God has wrought in my life.

A Lesson in Thankfulness

2010-11-24T07:16:00.000-08:00

I played bingo again on Saturday.

Shhhhh...

It was totally innocent, though...no gambling...just playing with my sweet Granny. :)

She was so cute to watch putting her chips on the cards. She won a jingle bell necklace and a bag of chips (which I'm sure she devoured as soon as I left...). It's always fun to play with her.

I was on a schedule crunch, though. We had tournaments at school that day, and I was supposed to be back there by 3:30 or so to help with that. But then the nursing home worker in charge of bingo announced the "cover all" round of bingo was coming up and showed off the glorious grand prize: a Christmas bear music box.

Granny's eyes lit up. "Oh, that's cute," she said. "I'd like to have that."

So, we stayed a bit longer and played. It was a long, grueling match. I began thinking no one was ever going to win! Finally, one old dear was down to 1 number left to cover; Granny was down to 2. I began praying that Granny would actually win (partly because I wanted some kind of "reward" for having stayed way past schedule and partly because I just wanted to see her happy!). The nurse called out the last 2 numbers--Granny's numbers!

"Say 'Bingo!'" I whispered. She covered the last number and called, "Bingo!" With elation, she received her little wind-up bear. She kept playing the music and smiling. ALL the other older folks were jealous. :)

She had to tell all the people we passed en route to her room that she had won and show off the bear. I had to show her roommate and the nurse who came to get her dinner order.

She was so thankful for this dollar store prize; I was thankful to see her happy. And now that I think about it--I need to learn the kind of thankfulness she displayed. Being grateful for the littlest blessings, thankful for ALL God gives, and happy in what He provides--even when it's not the grandest, greatest, or even what I think I want.

There is so much to be thankful for each day. I'm reminded of an Elisabeth Eliot quote.

"We accept and thank God for what is given, not allowing the NOT-GIVEN to spoil it."

Thank you, Lord, for all we have, all you give, and all You are. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Friday Fails: The Laundry Edition

2010-11-19T06:52:00.000-08:00

Just when I think I've got it all together and have myself totally organized and on top of things (yeah, right, like I EVER think that!), I realize I'm just as nutty as ever!

Last night, while trying to make several dozen cookies and batches of various flavors of Chex Mix (note...the white chocolate one is the yummiest!), I was also doing laundry, cleaning house, you know the whole bit. I did one happy load of dress clothes, loaded the dryer, and poured my detergent and fabric softener into the washing machine for the next load. So efficient! I was also remarking to my housemate how blessed we are to have the ability to wash our clothes at home, especially after our washer broke for a few weeks! Now we're back to cleaning as normal. Whew! :)

Then I remembered my oven needed to be turned up higher for the next batch of cookies, so I went back to the cooking and cleaning, feeling pretty accomplished!
An hour or so later, I went to retrieve my dry clothes and put my wet towels in to dry.

But the towels weren't there! WHAT?!!? Hadn't I put them in the washer?! I remembered pouring the liquid into the machine...I had heard it washing merrily away...but...I had forgotten to put the towels in to wash. !!!!!

FAIL.

There, in my bedroom hamper were the dirty towels and things that had been slated to wash. Phooey.

Now, I have an incredibly clean and lightly softened washing machine. I guess that's a good thing...too bad I wasted the detergent and softener on it!

How are you fairing? Any funny fails for you this week?

His Wise Bestowment

2010-11-14T11:28:00.000-08:00

"Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment, I've no cause for worry or for fear." The words to this familiar and well-loved hymn have been a great ministry to my heart today. I have had such a busy first semester teaching and ministering and working--it's so easy to kind of float along, as I'm inclined to do, I'm afraid! I know for me personally, I find myself looking around spiritually and personally wondering--how did I get here?!

I also find it easy to complain, easy to find the "injustices," and easy to wish for that which I don't have. But as I contemplated the words to this hymn today, I was reminded again how my Father God wisely gives that which He knows is best--never more, never less--always perfect. And that often means I don't get what I think I need or that I'm given more than I think I can handle. But His bestowment is ever wise--and to worry is to play the role of the atheist--in essence, to believe that God does not exist!

I'm coming clean here today! I've been bitter over what God took away from my church and me the past couple of years. We lost our school administrator, our church organist, our music minister, and their families--people who had been at my church for many, many years and had become as dear as family to me. These were and are people to whom I look for spiritual examples--people I have been very attached to--people I took for granted. Their leaving left large, gaping, cavernous holes that have been difficult to fill. Thankfully, our new administrator has worked hard to ensure that our school continues to stand firm and educate well. I'm so glad to be a part of it! He's done an amazing job! It's a lot of work to fill in the gaps...we've all been working hard--he and his wife probably the most!! Our school, in almost every way, I believe, has continued to thrive. We are smaller, but this year especially, we are spiritually strong. We miss those who have moved on to other ministries, but with our small, but very sacrificial and hard-working staff, we've made it! :)

The music ministry, in particular, was where the losses hit me the hardest, though. Perhaps because music is such a vital, emotional part of my life. I had received a great portion of my training from our former music minister, and I had learned so much from his family! I wanted to have everything just keep continuing on as it has in the past. But, that's impossible. With no organist, except for me and my limited abilities, I had to step up. With fewer pianists, I also felt like I had to assume some of that responsibility. I am a notorious over-worker, so I've tried to fill in many of the holes left in the music program. But that has led to some less-than-godly feelings and thinking on my part. I've wondered why God allowed such a loss--and why I had to be so "put upon" to pick up the slack in some areas.

Not a pretty side of me, I can tell you. I attend a church of 300+ people, and it sadly seems that the same people do the largest portion of the work all the time. And I kind of get a "martyr" syndrome at times about this. OUCH. No, seriously...OUCH. It hurts to admit that I struggle with pride, bitterness, and discontentment. I don't mean to. I am not even sure how I got here! :(

I don't think of myself as more talented, better, or more capable than anyone. I mean, I look at others who have REAL talent, trained talent, easily-achieved success...and I fall far short. I have to work hard to play the organ, help direct the handbells, accompany the choirs, and fulfill all of my school obligations. For some, it always seems to me like it comes so easily. For others, I look at them and wish they would realize their potential and work hard to achieve more--to alleviate the stress on the rest of us and find fulfillment in ministry!

(As a side note...I'm not saying our new music minister is failing...in case he should read this! I'm commenting on my own issues here--no one else's!)

I look at what God has given me...and I'm so blessed. I have friends and acquaintances who have far, far less than I do. I have a wonderful church with so many great people...and yet I look at the negative or what I or they don't have...I choose to compare the present to the past and feel sorry for what we've lost instead of rejoicing in what we've been given.

I hate what I've let myself become...and I hate that it undoubtedly affects others. But what I really hate is that I let myself get here. I hate that it hurts my Savior. It was God's wise bestowment that has allowed and will always allow His will in my life and others' to happen. And if that's not good enough for me, nothing ever will be.

No...I won't always have those I love close by. Yes...I may have new responsibilities that stretch me or change the way I enjoy my Sundays. No...things may not always be done the way I think they should...but...if what happens is part of my Father's wise bestowment to me, than it is His best. I am nothing and can do nothing apart from Him. All I have, I have from Him. There is no room for bitterness, pride, or discontent in the heart in which resides the King of Kings and the wise Bestower of all we need!

I'm growing, I believe, and learning from this. I still have many miles to go before the Lord perfects this area of my life. It is difficult at times to serve with joy and total contentment. Oh the joy that awaits us in heaven--no more separations from those we love and no more sinful emotions, thoughts, and motives! An eternity of perfect praise, worship, and joy awaits! Lord, give me grace and strength to trust in your wise bestowment--to drive away the worry, fear, pride, bitterness, and discontent that creep in when I want more than the treasure trove you've already given! And thank you, Father, for the good and perfect gifts given to my church and me--may we rejoice in your goodness and seek to serve you with our very lives!

Tastes from My Home

2010-10-25T15:36:00.000-07:00

I kind of invented a quickie recipe tonight...the Yearbook Staff seemed to like it well enough, so I figured I would post it here--both so I'll remember and for all of you brave souls who may decide to try it. :) Feel free to tweak it as you like. (This made a huge pan--probably 10-12 servings).

Chicken Broccoli Cheese Casserole

Ingredients:

2 pounds of chicken breast, fully cooked and shredded or cubed
2 packages of Green Giant Steamers: Broccoli and Cheese
2 packages of Green Giant Steamers: Mixed Veggies and Cheese
1 box of Minute Brown Rice
1 small stick of Velveeta Cheese
2 cans of Cream of Chicken soup
1 package of shredded colby/monterey jack cheese
1 tube of Saltine crackers
2 sticks of butter (or margarine), melted
Salt, Pepper, Seasoned Salt, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder

How I Made It:

Cook the Steamers as directed and make the box of rice as directed.

While the chicken cooks (I boiled it) and the Steamers cook, grind up the crackers into very fine pieces. Place in a bowl and mix in 2 Tbsp each of the seasonings (salt, pepper, seasoned salt, garlic powder, onion powder...whatever else you want...) Set this aside.

Then combine the cooked chicken pieces, the cooked Steamers, and the cooked rice in a big pot, stirring in the soup, the Velveeta cheese, and some salt and pepper to taste.

Next, put the mixture in a large baking dish (9x13 or bigger). Cover it with as much cheese as you want. Let it cook at 400 for about 10 minutes to melt the cheese down and get the middle good and hot. Next, sprinkle on the cracker crumbs and drizzle the cup of butter over all of this. I ended up adding a few more pats of butter to the top before baking.

Bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until the top is nice and browned and the sides are bubbly. I decided it could use MORE creaminess in the mix, so the next time I make it, I may add either another can of soup or some milk or something. Also, you could spice it up with some onions and different veggies or fresh veggies...it's a pretty versatile recipe, I think. :)

Enjoy! :)

Rare Gems

2010-10-21T04:54:00.000-07:00

I visited my granny again on Wednesday. She lives in a nursing home and has for almost 2 years now. The transition was difficult when she first moved in, but it's become home to her.

A few months ago, she suffered a stroke, which impaired her speech a bit and left her mentally a bit confused. It's been humorous at times (for her and for us) to try and decipher what she's saying when she can't quite make the sounds needed for the words, and it's also been sad many times, to see her unable to understand things that happen or cope with certain struggles.

Yesterday was one of those "rare gem" days, though. I was visiting with her, when she decided it was time to go down to the dining room for dinner, even though it was 30 minutes early. :)

As we turned the corner near the dining room, I noticed the TV room was playing Andy Griffith, one of my granny's favorite shows. We stopped to watch, and she was mesmerized. She just stared at the screen and laughed. It was the first time I'd seen her laugh in a long time.

It was a teary, happy moment...wishing she could always be so happy, but realizing that she may not be the next day. I miss the granny I played with and the granny who took care of me. But this granny has become dear, as well. We spend a few hours together a week--mumbling, laughing, and often just sitting. I'm closer to her now than I was as a little girl, and I treasure these special days together.

Grandparents are such a blessing, aren't they? We'll definitely be watching more Andy Griffith...it's worth it just to hear her laugh! :)

Growing Up and Growing...Old?!

2010-10-08T04:37:00.000-07:00

Well, my sister is officially getting old...or maybe that's just me...HMPH. Who says time is supposed to fly so FAST!!!?!? It literally seems like only a few years ago that we were playing as little girls (Barbies and "house" were our favorites...). I remember being almost 5 and feeling really excited that my mommy was having a baby for me. :) I wish I had pictures to upload of us as little girls--we were so cute. :) We pretty much looked the same--just smaller and with less make-up. :)

Sisters are funny things. You start out loving each other--because she's too small to really mess up your stuff or get on your nerves. Then you move into the "I love you, but I am so annoyed with you I can barely stand you" stage...we parked there for a while. We'd play together and love it, but I was the quintessential older sister who liked to have things my way, and she was the proverbial little sister who always whined her way into getting it HER way...well...at least...that's how I remember it. :)

Needless to say, as I got older and started thinking about college and "the real world," my tastes and practices changed and hers didn't as much. She and I grew into fairly different people, which made for some rough late teen years. We didn't hate each other--just didn't see eye to eye on many things. I never really went through a rebellious stage or had questionable friends...God alone be praised! But Lisa rode that line a bit.

Finally, life began to even out for us as she matured and I graduated college. We became really good friends...best friends in some ways. At one point in my life, I feel really blessed to have had three people who I considered BEST FRIENDS. I didn't realize what I had!

As it happens, though, such good things eventually come to an end. My first best friend, married a teacher I worked with at our Christian school. That was fine--I love the beautiful children she and he produce. :) Then my sister decides to go and find herself a new best friend--a boy no less! That wasn't as easy to swallow, especially since...well...I'm the older one. Shouldn't I have found a guy best friend first?!

That left me with just my friend, Paula, who can never get married...I need her. :) (Just kidding, just kidding...) and my best-mom-friend. :) (Amazing how moms become friends as you grow up, isn't it?!)

Alas, on this 26th year of life for my sister, I won't see her. God has her in Wisconsin and me in Indiana. I won't even be the one she wants to see most on her birthday. Thankfully for her, she's got HIM up there. In fact, due to my overbusy and really long day, I probably won't even get to hear her voice on her birthday. Sadness.

I hope, though, that she still knows I love her and miss her. I miss being crazy kids together. I miss shopping together. I missing getting each other. And even though I know those days are pretty much over, the memories are sweet. And the promise of future fun, albeit different, still gives me hope.

Happy Birthday, Lisa. Thanks for being a fun sister and one of my first best friends.

The Big 3-1

2010-10-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

Thankfully...it's not me...yet. :) But the impending doom of the first birthday totally in one's thirties is sneaking up on me...little by little. This past weekend, though, it was my friend Paula's turn first. :) We decided to celebrate big time! :)

I had her presents and her cake all set up for her to surprise her when she got home...

A sneak peak at what was in the bag--new sheets and a new journal!

Her new bedspread--a down comforter!--to go with the new sheets. :)

It was after midnight when she got in---so it was officially her birthday. She was surprised... :)

The next morning, we headed out for a day of FUN! :)

We started out with some YUMMY pumpkin pancakes at Paula's favorite spot--IHOP.

Then off to Fall's Park in Pendleton...

For a few fun pictures...

Next we headed off to some antique stores--we found SEVERAL things we had had as children--what a birthday treat--feeling old as you sift through "antiques" from your childhood!

Feeling the need for some caffeinated energy, we headed to Gathering Grounds, a fabulous little coffee shop in Pendleton--so pretty and so good! :)

We went towards Indianapolis next--stopping in Carmel along the way--we found one of my all-time favorite stores, "THE FRESH MARKET." I literally squealed with delight!

I neglected to get pictures of all of the fun stores we went to after that. We didn't buy hardly anything, but we had such fun browsing and dreaming at stores like "Sur la Table" and such...we didn't eat lunch because we were saving room for the main event of the evening...

THE MELTING POT

So much gooey goodness!

Lest you think I am way rich, I had a gift certificate to this ultra cool but quite pricey restaurant...definitely an unusual treat! :) Paula's day seemed to be satisfactory to her, I think. We were stuffed and tuckered from all the shopping, so we headed home after that to relax with a movie and lots of water. :) It was a great day with my great friend! Happy 31st, Paula! :)

Friday Coupon Fail

2010-09-16T11:27:00.000-07:00

Well, folks, I've done it again--FAILED! :) I think this one would have probably been funnier to watch from afar than it was to live through, but, most of my fails are! :)

I was couponing on Saturday--trying to use my dwindling funds to procure the cheapest possible items at a local, but known-worldwide super store. I could NOT find the "Damp-Rid," though...rawr! I had looked everywhere I could think feasibly possible. It was ALL I lacked to make my money-saving purchases complete. I was tired, hot, and a smidge cranky. All I wanted was DAMP-RID, people!

So, I thought to trek back to the opposite side of the store where more "hardware store" type stuff was kept. I piled my coupons neatly on top of my little umbrella in my cart, so as not to confuse them with the other coupons in my wallet.

BAD IDEA.

As I walked up and down the more "manly" aisles, I decided to give it up and look elsewhere for said moisture-ridding substance. I glanced down to pick up my coupons--
but they weren't there. I started rummaging through my purse and wallet--not the panicky "I've-lost-my-keys-and-can't-remember-where-they-are-oh-my-word,-where-are-my-stinking-keys!" type search...but it was close. These coupons were my tickets to saving money, for pete's sake!

Then I looked down--there were 2 coupons on the ground. Only two. TWO. I had had probably 20 when I started out.

Oh.my.word.

I realized that my coupons had, little known to me, sought their freedom by hurling themselves downward from the cart--and for all I knew, they were scattered across the store and those manly items aisles.

RAWR.

So, I retraced my steps. Up and down the various aisles...back through the store...all the way back to the dish soap aisle where my trek 'cross the store had begun. As I walked, I looked down--under displays, in between clothes--even under feet!

I undoubtedly looked quite ridiculous. And...I found only 5 of my coupons. (Side note--the floor in the store? FILTHY. Not to mention I saw a little boy CRAWLING along the floor while his mom was looking at something and carraling her 2 other kids...NO, PEOPLE...store floors are DIRTY!!!)

Oh, great, I thought. Some selfish beast of a person is now walking around the store with a fist full of MY coupons...I started to retrace my steps again, looking at everyone's cart as I went---"Does SHE have items like I would have bought?" I wondered.

As I stood in the clothing section of the store for the third time that day, I realized the futility of everything and decided to put my items back for which I did not now have a coupon (I wasn't ABOUT to pay full price after all of THAT!) and head home. Needless to say, I was most peeved.

Grumbling under my breath about the length of the lines at said superstore (which, on another side note, if superstores are really so super, why.in.the.world! can they NOT hire enough people to check us out without us having to wait in line for 20 minutes?!--but that's another rant for another day...) I inwardly seethed that I had lost all of those coupons.

As I approached the cashier, I couldn't help but notice how overly thrilled she seemed to be working there---NOT. Besides being very pregnant, she was moving at near-death speed and scowling all the way. "I know how you feel," I thought. Boy, was I wrong.

Finally, my turn with "Miss Personality" came. I tried to be jovial enough, but I was still out of sorts about my coupon lossage. Then the guy behind me started talking to the poor lady.

"You don't look too happy today," he said. ("Way to go, Captain Obvious," I thought.)

She nearly teared up as she looked back at him.

"I lost my house 2 days ago. My husband and I can't afford the rent, so the landlord kicked us out. I'm moving tomorrow morning," she said, followed by a hard swallow.

"Doesn't your husband have his job anymore?" the man asked.

"Nope," she said. "He lost it. It's just my little paycheck here...that's all we got."

OUCH. Coupons didn't really matter any more.

Not only had I failed to look past my own unimportant needs to see the needs of others, I had mentally judged this woman and had written her off just because I was having a bad day.

Once again, the ugly side of my nature had risen to the surface. God chose to use a loss that I thought as "serious" at the time to put things into perspective and step on my toes a bit. I'm so glad He does things like that.

After I got to the car, I remembered that my housemate had duplicates of nearly every coupon I'd lost. So, really, the only thing lost that day was my compassion, patience, and love.

I guess it was a more serious loss than I had thought. :(

But God (I LOVE those two words!) used it for His purposes in my life--teaching me new lessons and impacting me beyond the moment. He's amazing that way.

Of course, I also learned to be more careful where I place my coupons in the store. :) And if you're ever out shopping and find a pile of strewn coupons lying about--don't assume they're free for the taking. Maybe other people are just as clumsy as I and need to learn a little lesson in humility, too.

Fall Has Come to My Home...

2010-09-11T15:16:00.001-07:00

Don't you just want to come in and sip cider and chat?! I wish you all could--how much fun would that be! I totally wish I could afford a bigger home with more fall-ish fun, but I'm content with what I have. :) Happy Fall, Friends!

Where Am I?

2010-09-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

Well...I'm here--at school---still, again, always...

And I can't get my camera to upload my photos, so I can't show you all I want to show you--I've been busy! And I want to show off my students and all that I'm doing, but alas, you'll have to wait. I'll try conquering the camera again on Saturday. :)

But I'm still here--no worries. Life is going fast--some days it feels like a roller coaster, too! Tomorrow IS Friday, though...Hooray!

Be back at you soon, hopefully with photos and thoughts and all kinds of fun. :)

Happy Thursday!

Worth a Thousand Words

2010-08-18T17:00:00.000-07:00

I was going to make this post virtually wordless--but my pictures need just a bit of explaining. :)

It's been a great, difficult, different summer for me. It was almost nothing like I planned, I didn't get accomplished all I wanted to, but as I look at the weeks gone by, I know the Lord accomplished what HE wanted to. And that's what made it great.

The summer had some great ups--like meeting this little sweetheart. :) She's the sole survivor of our garage cat, George--ette, who is really a girl, we found out. :) Little Lucy, as we've dubbed her, is full of life and makes our hearts happy. :)

I've spent a few hours each week with my precious Granny. She suffered a pretty bad stroke this summer, which has been kind of sad. She can't speak as well anymore, but she's still as cute and funny as ever...she kept moving, so getting a picture of her was hard to do!

Probably the saddest thing we faced as a family was the loss of my "little brother," Henry. He was with us for 14 years, and we all really loved him. I still tear up thinking about him not being at my parents' house any more when I get there--but I'm glad he's out of pain. He sure was handsome... :)

Another really sad/hard part of the summer was literally picking up the pieces of parts of my life after my classroom (seen above) and school were vandalized. That probably was the greatest contributor to the emotional upheaval and spiritual distress I found myself coping with this summer. However, it's also been one of the things the Lord really used to make me more like Him.

With my sister dating and living in Wisconsin, I've had the privilege of being able to hog my parents. :) They are such comforts and supports to me...I'm pretty sure I'd have gone totally crazy by now without them!

All in all...what a summer! Paula and I spent a lovely week on vacation, which I already told you about, but it was so fun! I'm so glad she's my buddy...she puts up with a lot!

I'm so thankful for God's continued peace, provision, and protection. I'm still so unlike Him--there is still so much of me to work on! But by His grace, He's doing what He wills. Truly there's no better place to be!

Refuge for the Weary Soul

2010-08-11T11:53:00.000-07:00

Dear refuge of my weary soul,
On Thee, when sorrows rise
On Thee, when waves of trouble roll,
My fainting hope relies
To Thee I tell each rising grief,
For Thou alone canst heal
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief,
For every pain I feel.

But oh! When gloomy doubts prevail,
I fear to call Thee mine
The springs of comfort seem to fail,
And all my hopes decline
Yet gracious God, where shall I flee?
Thou art my only trust
And still my soul would cleave to Thee
Though prostrate in the dust.

Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face,
And shall I seek in vain?
And can the ear of sovereign grace,
Be deaf when I complain?
No still the ear of sovereign grace,
Attends the mourner's prayer
Oh may I ever find access,
To breathe my sorrows there.

Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet,
Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet.

Anne Steele (1716-1778)

I was "perusing" some songs on Pandora Radio today and heard someone singing the words to this masterful hymn. I can't say the artist did the words justice, but the words definitely did my heart and soul much good. Anne Steele is a little-known-in-our-circles Baptist hymn writer; too bad we don't sing more from her rich tapestry of hymns!

My soul has definitely been a bit weary this summer. I'm so thankful for the Refuge I have in Christ. I have not retreated to Him enough, but when I do yield my stubborn will and pride and finally seek His face, His comfort abounds. Such a wonderful Savior. How blessed to call Him mine! I pray you'll read the words and be equally blessed, challenged, and encouraged. Wait beneath His feet--there is ever Refuge there!

Fun (Fave?) New Website You Must Check Out!

2010-08-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

I love fun, unique gifts and items--especially when they're home made! Check out the wonderful reads, ideas, gifts, and more at

www.jonesdesigncompany.com.

She's got a fun summer giveaway going on, but I hope you'll read some more of what she's got there--as well as look at her pictures and learn from her ideas. I sure wish I were so crafty!

Have a joyous, lovely, wonderful day!

Super Busy--Friday Frenzy

2010-08-06T08:15:00.000-07:00

I am way too busy to be blogging today, but I felt like the world (all 3 of you who read this!) would think I'd fallen off the face of the earth if I didn't at least update! :)

My Granny's 85th birthday was this past Wednesday...I told her that the cupcake I brought her made her tongue really pink...so she made this face....

(Shhh...don't tell her I posted this...)

The best part of the week has been "meeting" via mail my child from Compassion International, whom I will be sponsoring. She's six and adorable! She's from Honduras, too. Meet Daiana...

I'm excited about sponsoring her! I'll post more as I find it out. :)

And life has been, as I said, supremely busy with work and new church responsibilities and getting ready for school, etc...some of you know how it goes! :) My buddy Paula and I are pretty much wishing we were back in Charleston about now, though...with the hot, sticky Indiana weather and the busy schedules, another vacation seems in order!

Anyway, I'll try to be back on here soon, but I fear my posts will drop to once a week very soon here...hopefully that doesn't shatter anyone's world too much! :)

Treasures in the Dark

2010-07-27T11:51:00.000-07:00

"I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron: And I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I, the LORD, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel. For Jacob my servant's sake, and Israel mine elect, I have even called thee by thy name: I have surnamed thee, though thou hast not known me."
Isaiah 45:2-4

I love when the Lord causes you to look afresh at a passage. I heard Isaiah 45:3 quoted this morning on a local radio station. I could not get it out of my head! I feel like I’ve been walking in the crooked, dark, and secret places this summer. There have been many changes and questions this summer…specifically revolving around my church and school. Sometimes I think things don’t affect me personally, but then as the dust settles, I realize that I stand here, bruised and battered and shaken. Why do we—why do I—think we have it all together? We cruise along in life, taking for granted the blessings we’ve been given. I know I personally cruise along spiritually far too often. The desire for a deeper walk is there somewhere…I just too often crowd it out with the noise in my life and soul.

My heart and mind are really full today. I’ve had to say good-bye this past week to some people I really love. I’ve lost a lot of personal belongings this summer to some school vandalism. I’ve been forced to re-think my philosophy of teaching. I’ve been scared. I’ve been worried about what the coming school year holds. I’ve had to look at myself in new ways and come to grips with some personal weaknesses. I know compared to some of my friends and their families who have lost loved ones or who are suffering from life-changing diseases, my problems are pretty small. But to me…they’ve been major. Spiritually, they have shaken me. Personally they have leveled me and rebuilt me.

But God…my God…our Abba…He says, I will go before thee. The crooked places will be made straight—that’s not a promise that they’ll be straight before you walk upon them. It’s not even a promise that they’ll be made straight while you’re walking on them, although both could be true. Sometimes I think it might even mean those places will be “made” straight after you’ve passed through them. As you look back—you see the purpose, and the confusion is straightened into order. That is how I feel about so much of what has happened in my life this summer. Those places were anything but straight going through them. They even took a while to look back on and see as something of beauty. But slowly, delicately, and with a Father’s care, the Lord makes them straight. I used to think as a new Christian that this verse meant those places would be made straight before I had to pass through them; ah, what we learn through the years!

The part that was sweeter to me this morning as I meditated, though, was the idea of His giving us treasures amidst the darkness and hidden riches of these secret places. How precious it is to think that when we are at our weakest and in the darkest hours of the night, He gives us His treasures. Treasures that, I believe, are different for each of us. Treasures such as His comfort or even His chastisement to bring me back to Him. It’s amazing how truly awesome our God is…and how foolish we are—I am—to ignore Him or float through our normal schedule giving little heed to Him. We are too comfortable, Christians…we’d rather enjoy our “comfort” here on earth than be truly comforted and at comfort in our Lord, for wherever He is there is true comfort. We are called by His name; we are showered with His treasures. Surely He is good. And surely, I have so much more to learn about this beautiful, lovely Savior.

Tastes from My Home Tuesdays

2010-07-20T05:59:00.000-07:00

Well, due to life being one crazy, hectic evening after another, my culinary adventures have been few and far between the past 2 weeks. I'm thankful for a mom who lives so close and invites me over often for meals, because I'd get little home cooking some weeks without her! One of my favorite recipes that she makes is Shepherd's Pie. It's a versatile, filling, satisfying dish that always makes me feel happy and at home! Try it!

INGREDIENTS
2 lbs ground chuck
3/4 cup chopped sweet onions
1/2 cup chopped celery
2 tbsp minced garlic
2 lbs potatoes, peeled
4 tablespoons butter
2 carrots, sliced
1 15oz can beef broth
4 tablespoons flour

HOW TO DO IT
Saute beef, onion, celery and garlic in a large pan until well done. Strain off fat. Boil potatoes until fork tender, about 20 minutes. Drain and mash with butter. Cook carrots until crisp tender, then chop and add to beef mixture. Make a gravy with beef broth and flour. Whisk in enough flour to thicken, about 2 tablespoons at a time. When gravy comes to a boil, add beef and carrot mixture. Reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes.Spoon meat mixture into a 2-quart casserole. Spoon potatoes on top. Bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees.

A "cheaters" way to get the almost same taste is to get a bag of frozen veggies (peas, carrots, corn) and saute with meat, onion, garlic, and celery. Then make the gravy and mashed potatoes and combine it all as above. Either way, it's a delicious meal!

Picking up the pieces...

2010-07-08T08:19:00.000-07:00

“Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take; the clouds ye so much dread are big with mercy, and shall break in blessings on your head.”
(William Cowper, "God Moves in a Mysterious Way")

This summer I have been guilty of many sins, no doubt, but perhaps one of the greatest was my lack of belief and trust in God. It’s a strange way we have about us Christians—we pray for God to move and work in our lives. We ask Him to teach us new things and draw us closer to Himself. And then we forget that most often, He brings about such change by trying our faith, sending difficulties, and stretching us in ways we never thought possible.

There have been few times in my life in which I have honestly felt tried. I’m not saying the Lord hasn’t tried me numerous times, but there have been few times when I have really FELT it and struggled and questioned and honestly been brought quite low.

The past 2 weeks have been such a time. Before I dive into the details, let me say that these thoughts are MINE and not meant to be applied to anyone else’s thoughts/feelings about what happened here 2 weeks ago. I feel I can say my part here on my blog, because it is just that…mine. And I also must say that, should anyone read this who happens to be offended (which is what I intend to try to avoid!), please let me know. I’m human and struggling and learning with the rest of the world. Don’t hold THAT against me! :)

Two weeks ago…to this very day…my school (my second home, really) was vandalized. I’m not talking mere graffiti (although there was a small bit). I’m talking classrooms, offices, personal items, school items, computers, etc. destroyed and a chaotic mess left in place of what was once order and beauty. You can see the news story here.

The idea alone that someone would do this to our school was earth-shattering enough. But when we found out that there had been several former students involved, that made it all the more personal and scary. I have tried my best to be the type of teacher I had in high school and college: loving, kind, firm, but sweet, and ever ready to help my students at any time. So, naturally, I was amazed that such hatred would be directed towards me. My classroom as well as numerous other rooms were left ransacked, our personal items and teaching helps destroyed. I kept telling myself, “It’s just stuff. No person was physically hurt…it will be all right!” But that’s not so easy to believe when you realize that the security of your “home” has been so compromised, and you are the object of people’s rage and hatred.

PAUSE. I know all of this sounds very self-centered. This is NOT all about me. The people who did this and their families DESPERATELY need our prayers, our sympathy, and our love and support. Please don’t think for a moment that I’ve forgotten that! My heart breaks for them, truly. I wish I could convince them of that! I taught the students involved, I ministered with the families…I love them. That’s what makes it hurt all the more. So, please, don’t look at me as selfish and trying to push my agenda or make this seem “all about me.” Like I said, this is my blog, and this is my spiritual journey, so I’m telling my side. :)

What ensued after the initial vandalism was a fairly short effort by the police department to track down the perpetrators, which they did. Things moved quickly, and before we knew it, a battle of opinions, Facebook messages and hateful words started popping up. Once the news media decided to get involved (which happened without anyone at my school/church asking for involvement!), the story was out and the talking began. That’s when my real struggle began.

People whom I have known and loved for years were biting each others’ heads off, calling names, and building stories around supposed truths. People who didn’t like our school/church were coming out of the woodwork, accusing us of being unforgiving, of being judgmental, of being un-Christlike, of any other number of things. I tried not to take it personally, as few were personally attacking me. But what became my real struggle was not blaming myself for things and not feeling sorry for myself. An accusation had been thrown out that somehow, the anger and hatred and attitudes behind what was done was our fault and our failure. I felt guilty and worried. I sobbed within myself…how could I possibly be more loving to my students?! I felt as though I had given all and all had been thrown back in my face. It was a very trying time, and it really brought me to my knees.

Which is exactly where God wanted me.

I started thinking how much we each had to learn from this. This trial God had sent was not just a wake-up-call for those who committed the crime. It was a wake-up-call for all of us. I was so worried that I wasn’t pleasing men, that I wasn’t doing my job, and that things were being said about all of us, that I forgot that God is in control! And He orchestrates ALL things for our best good. He allowed this to happen; perhaps, although I can’t say definitely, He in some way wanted it to happen. I do not know His purpose or His ultimate goal in all of this yet. Perhaps it is different for everyone.

Stop and think with me. When your child or friend or family member chooses to do wrong, whose fault is it? What’s more, why does it happen? People have been so quick to figure out “who’s to blame?” for all of this, that we’ve forgotten…Who allowed it?

God did. He could have stopped the vandalism. He could have allowed those who did the crime to do any other number of things that night. But He didn’t. And the lessons He has for all who even hear about it are vital. Who are we to question His ways?

I can’t sit here and tell each person what lesson there is to be learned here. Instead of accusing, judging, worrying, etc., we all need to be evaluating ourselves. I’m not excusing anything that was done or saying it’s not anyone’s fault! Bad choices were made…choices that were made based on a life of choices made and influences on each person. Parents, family, closest friends are perhaps the greatest influences, but at the end of the day, we each have to own up to our own decisions. My parents taught me not to doubt God…yet sometimes I still do. I make a choice to. It’s part of the human condition. We do what makes us happy too often and forget the consequences.

And…my point today, in writing this, is to glorify God by saying, He used this in my life to point out some inconsistencies, to make me evaluate things, and to make me learn to trust in His timing, His plan, and His inconceivable wisdom. He chose to allow this to happen because He knows what we need. Those things we think are bad, those things we think are good…all things…He knows what we need, and He gives us that.

It’s presumptuous and selfish to think God allowed such things just to minister in my life. I’d hate to think it was for me that others have had to suffer. But I also know how much my God loves me, and He would have, I believe, died only for me, had that been His plan. How sobering.

Thankfully, He took upon Himself the sins of the whole world…yours, mine, and the sins of those who committed the vandalism. If God can forgive us so much, we must forgive others. That’s where I finally am, too. In my heart, I hold no malice or ill-will towards those who destroyed so much of what I love. That’s a spiritual victory in itself! The pain is subsiding, although it works its way back in from time to time, especially as I watch the clean-up efforts here. I wish so much that I could see the families and those who committed the crime…to hug them and remind them that God loves them and will use this in their lives, just as He has in mine. That may never happen, but I will hope and pray for the day when restoration can be complete.

"What though th' accuser roar / Of ills that I have done; / I know them well, and thousands more; / Jehovah findeth none." (S. W. Gandy)

I know this post has been long…you’ve born with me remarkably well. I hope I’ve not raised too many questions or offended anyone. But I needed to chronicle my journey and praise God for what He’s doing in my heart. I wouldn’t have prayed for this to happen to my school, but I can definitely say, it has turned into a blessing in many ways.

God is good.

Tastes from My Home Tuesdays

2010-07-06T06:16:00.000-07:00

Mexican Spinach Dip is a highly-tasty, not-too-complicated to make sidedish or party dish. I love the fact that you can do all of the peppers to taste, since I'm not able to eat tons of peppers. This is great served with tortilla chips or pita bread. Try it! :)

INGREDIENTS
1 (10 ounce) package frozen spinach, thawed in microwave and squeezed dry
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 cup half-and-half
1 (8 ounce) package cheddar cheese
1 small onions (to taste) or a few scallions, chopped (to taste)
1 green bell peppers (to taste) or poblano peppers, chopped (to taste)
3 chopped jalapeno peppers (canned and drained, or fresh, to taste)
1 tablespoon vegetable oil or olive oil
2-3 roma tomatoes
Parmesan cheese

HOW TO DO IT
Combine and chop together in food processor spinach, cream cheese, half-and-half and cheese. Sauté together in oil the onion/scallions and peppers for a few minutes, just until softened. Fold onion/peppers into cheese/spinach mixture. Halve crosswise, squeeze out seeds and cut tomatoes into cubes. Fold tomatoes into mixture; if mixture seems too thick, fold in up to ½ cup more half-and-half.Oil or butter a casserole dish and pour in dip. Sprinkle all over with Parmesan cheese. Loosely lay a piece of foil over the top. Do NOT seal. You can remove this to let the edges brown a bit, but place it back on if things start to get too crispy. Bake at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes, or until mixture is bubbly hot. The dip will be looser when hot but will set up thicker as it cools.

Back At It....

2010-07-05T17:21:00.001-07:00

I totally loved and had a marvelous time on my vacation! Now, I find myself back in the fray and struggling a bit to make sense of some things and many feelings.

That being said, I'm not up for blogging today...maybe not for a few days. I'd appreciate your prayers as I work through some emotional/spiritual/personal struggles. It's nothing to worry too much about, friends...just the time for me to do some searching, praying, and waiting on our Lovely God.

I'll hopefully have some great insights to share in the coming days. Our God is good, faithful, and wise; I can't wait to see what He has to teach me!

Enjoy your week, friends!

Going on Vacay...

2010-06-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

Well, friends, as unfaithful as I've been to this blog, I'm about to be more unfaithful. :)

I'm going on vacation! :) It's DEFINITELY much needed...and...I think...if I a may be so bold...much deserved.

I'll be back the week after next with some pics and stories from the adventure...stay tuned!

Tastes from My Home Tuesday

2010-06-22T07:38:00.001-07:00

It's been crazy busy lately--mostly with VBS at our church. So sorry the posts have come so few and far between! Today's recipe is one of my FAVORITES, again! :) It's also a big hit at brunches, too! Enjoy!

Pumpkin Scones

Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
7 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
6 tablespoons cold butter
1/2 cup canned pumpkin
3 tablespoons half-and-half
1 large egg

Spiced Glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
3 tablespoons powdered sugar
2 tablespoons whole milk
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 pinch ginger
1 pinch ground cloves

TO MAKE THE SCONES:.
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Lightly oil a baking sheet or line with parchment paper. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and spices in a large bowl. Using a pastry knife, fork, or food processor, cut butter into the dry ingredients until mixture is crumbly and no chunks of butter are obvious. Set aside. In a separate bowl, whisk together pumpkin, half and half, and egg. Fold wet ingredients into dry ingredients. Form the dough into a ball. Pat out dough onto a lightly floured surface and form it into a 1-inch thick rectangle (about 9 inches long and 3 inches wide). Use a large knife or a pizza cutter to slice the dough twice through the width, making three equal portions. Cut those three slices diagonally so that you have 6 triangular slices of dough. Place on prepared baking sheet. Bake for 14–16 minutes. Scones should begin to turn light brown. Place on wire rack to cool.

TO MAKE THE SPICED GLAZE:
Combine the ingredient for the spiced glaze together. Drizzle this over each scone and allow the glaze to dry before serving (at least 1 hour). A squirt bottle works great for this, or you can drizzle with a whisk.

These are super good around the fall, but they are so easy to make (although they sound complex!) and so tasty, you might want to make them all year-round! They are copycats of those you'll find at places like Starbucks, but these tend to be moister and better in my estimation!

Tastes from My Home Tuesday

2010-06-15T06:17:00.000-07:00

Today's recipe is one of my absolute FAVORITES! I took it from a dear former co-worker in Greenville, SC. It's totally versatile, but it's one where I tend to follow the recipe pretty closely, because it's just so yummy! (Ok, actually, I do fudge and use 1 big can of Swanson canned all-white chicken, pulled apart, when I'm in a hurry...) Enjoy it, friends!

Parmesan Chicken Salad

2 medium chicken breasts, cut up (or use canned, if in a hurry)
1 8oz package of shredded Parmesan cheese
1 small cucumber, diced
1 small bunch of red grapes (probably about 2 cups, if you measured it)
1 cup of diced/slivered almonds
1-2 cups (or more) creamy poppyseed dressing
Optional--garnish with green onion (I don't use the onion...)

In a large bowl, combine chicken, cheese, diced cucumber, almonds, and grapes(cut in half). Stir in 1-2 cups (sometimes I use more, if I want it creamier or it just needs it!) of creamy poppyseed dressing. Coat ingredients well. Chill until ready to serve.

It's great on croissants with some lettuce, or I've been putting it in pita pockets. While living in South Carolina, I would just make a batch and eat it right out of the bowl, too. It's filling, but not heavy, and is a great way to get some vegetables, fruit, and lean protein into your diet without driving up the calorie count! Total WIN!

Let me know if you try it...I'm sure there are variations you could do...be sure to pass along your own finds! :)

Monday Musings

2010-06-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

"But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away." Isaiah 64:6

I love cleaning. I love watching dirt and grime and gick get wiped away. I cleaned house (as is my custom) this weekend and rejoiced in the happy, clean scent and feeling that pervaded the air afterwards.

But cleaning also produces those nasty, dirty rags. My housemate and I were discussing how unsanitary cleaning rags can be and how it might cost more to use disposable towels, but at least it's truly clean!

Then on Sunday, my pastor hit the "dirty rags" idea from a new angle. He discussed at one point the verse mentioned above. Our personal efforts at righteousness are nothing to God but filthy rags. Ick.

Not only that, he went on to describe, but these are no ordinary dirty rags the Lord inspired Isaiah to write about. These are the filthiest, vilest (especially to Jews) rags. Dirty, bloody rags. (I'll leave the analogy there, ladies, but you know of what I speak.)

My mind was repulsed by the idea of such rags. I, who hate dirt and grime, produce even worse rags when I try to live in my own righteousness. That my Heavenly Husband would look at anything I could produce and be as repulsed as I am--and even more so!--made me weep within. Truly we are vile, evil, disgusting creatures.

BUT GOD...

Don't you love those two words?! The Bible is filled with instances where God intervenes and changes everything! Romans 5:8 says, "But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He looked (and looks!) at our filthy, putrid rags and cleanses us from our sins. He exchanges these rags for the finest heavenly vesture. He replaces our robes with His own.

I cannot imagine having the love/compassion/ability to look at filthy, bloody rags and exchange them for anything good. I'm a fan of thrift shopping and bargain hunting, but used, disgusting rags are worth nothing in my book.

But God...has created us in His image. He has made us righteous in Him. He looks at the work of His Son on the cross and is satisfied with this unimaginable Payment for our sins. He sees us through His Son.

Amazing.

I don't believe I'll ever look at my cleaning rags the same again. No, they still won't be good for much besides cleaning in my mind, but the marvelous, matchless truth that He is repulsed by my rags and yet offers me cleansing, His own righteousness, and the finest He can give...that's more than I can comprehend.

His robes for mine: O wonderful exchange!
Clothed in my sin, Christ suffered 'neath God's rage.
Draped in His righteousness I'm justified.
In Christ I live, for in my place He died.

His robes for mine: what cause have I for dread?
God's daunting Law, Christ mastered in my stead.
Faultless I stand, with righteous works not mine.
Saved by my Lord's vicarious death and life.

His robes for mine: God's justice is appeased.
Jesus is crushed, and thus the Father's pleased.
Christ drank God's wrath on sin, then cried, "Tis done!"
Sin's wage is paid, propitiation won.

His robes for mine: such anguish none can know.
Christ, God's beloved, condemned as though His foe.
He, as though I, accursed and left alone.
I, as though He, embraced and welcomed home!

I cling to Christ and marvel at the cost.
Jesus forsaken, God estranged from God.
Bought by such love, my life is not my own.
My praise, my all, shall be for Christ alone.

--Chris Anderson/words --Greg Habegger/music

Things to be Thankful for...

2010-06-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

I'm so thankful for the lovely ladies in my life...my sister...

My mother...

My granny...

My best friend, Paula...

My buddy Lydia...and her sister, whom I don't seem to have a picture of...

************

There are others...friends and family who I don't see as often...even some of you who I consider a blessing, yet I don't have a picture of you! :) God is so good to bless me--all of us--with so much! Count your blessings, today. It's hard to have a bad day when you're thankful for what you DO have! :)

Bring a Cat to Work Wednesday

2010-06-09T06:29:00.001-07:00

It was a quiet, peaceful, mundane Wednesday morning here at work. Our resident flute teacher came, requesting entry at the church, which I was happy to help her receive. As I unlocked the church doors from within, a small little black and brown something scampered towards me and tried desperately to enter the church.

My first thought was a large vermin of some kind, but it was this little guy...

Cute, right? :) I have a soft place in my heart for little cuties like him, so I tried to find a grassy place to leave him so he could frolick with his other feline friends. But...he was not to be so easily appeased.

Every step I took, he decided to run under my feet. I even tried to run away, but he caught up. It was the proverbial, "Mom--he followed me home!" I really wanted to rid myself of this kitten, but he wouldn't leave me alone. I didn't want him to end up as roadkill, so I called my good friend, Paula. :)

She was en route to Hartford City to see her mom, but she turned around and came back to get our little friend, who was quickly making himself at home in my office. (Don't worry, Mr. Plew...he was only here for a few moments!)

Thankfully, Paula thinks her mother might just want the little bugger, who is quite full of energy and mischievousness. :) As I write, he's enjoying the unseen sights of I-69 on his way to a potential new home.

It made for an eventful, but good-deed-filled morning. Do you have a soft spot for animals? (I know...cats aren't my favorites, either...but I don't wish them ill...) Have you ever rescued an animal? It's not my first time, but it's definitely one of the more memorable!

UPDATE: The poor kitty can't stay with Paula's mom. :( And I'm not allowed to have pets, either! :( Anyone want this sweet kitty?

Tastes from My Home Tuesday

2010-06-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

My housemate and I have really been trying to eat lots of fruits and vegetables this summer, and this new favorite salad is a big help in getting the leafy greens and fruits in for the day. It’s incredibly light and summery, even though it’s called “Autumn Tossed Salad.” It’s from tasteofhome.com, but I tweak it based on what ingredients I have on hand. It sounds so unnatural to put some of these things together, but it’s honestly so yummy! I actually crave it sometimes!

Ingredients called for in the original recipe
• 1/2 cup lemon juice
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 teaspoons finely chopped onion
• 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2/3 cup vegetable oil
• 1 tablespoon poppy seeds
• 1 bunch romaine, torn
• 1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Swiss cheese
• 1 cup unsalted cashews
• 1 medium apple, chopped
• 1 medium pear, chopped
• 1/4 cup dried cranberries

In a blender, combine the lemon juice, sugar, onion, mustard and salt. While processing, gradually add oil in a steady stream. Stir in poppy seeds. Transfer to a small pitcher or bowl. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour or until chilled.
In a large salad bowl, combine the romaine, cheese, cashews, apple, pear and cranberries. Drizzle with dressing and toss to coat. Yield: 10 servings.

*******************

I like to put a little less sugar in (I haven’t tried it yet with Splenda or Truvia) and used minced onion. I also think the Dijon mustard isn’t necessary, but that’s a personal preference. I substituted sesame seeds for poppy seeds (or omit them altogether), and I usually substitute almond pieces for cashews, as almonds are better for you. One great thing about salads—you can substitute and add your own twists all the time! I’m going to try carrots in the salad next time, too.

What are some of your favorite summer time recipes?

Friday Fails Fail

2010-06-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

I thought for sure I was going to get away this week without a fail. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but my "oops" moments this week seemed to allude my memory, and I just couldn't think of anything to share!

Then, I remembered a few less-than-on-top-of-things moments over the past week and a half. :)

1. Last Friday...I forgot my fail blog! :) Boo! It was the last day of school last Friday, so I was pretty busy, but I've been reminding my students that there are few truly acceptable excuses in life, so I shan't make any for myself.

2. On Saturday, I bought some plant food from an unnamed multi-million dollar superstore where prices are always nice and low. I chose the slightly off-name brand, thinking, "Hey...they're plants! They won't know the difference." Boy was I wrong. :( It totally killed my rosemary. :(

(Insert picture here, which I canNOT get to load!!! GRRR...Fail 3 for the week!)

I am assuming it's the plant food, as my lavendar is also looking rather sad, and both plants were thriving before the food. I believed the package when it boasted that the plants would look even better after eating this super-duper wonder food. Bah. I hope my other plants that ate of the same food don't start shriveling up, too. I may have to write a less-than-friendly letter to the company and complain!

3. As stated above, technology has not been my friend this week. My e-bay find iPod Touch died for a day...wouldn't charge or anything...then miraculously came back to life. (I think the charger is warped, honestly...) Then my computer at work has been UBER slow. Facebook seems to have it out for me, and my blog won't load my picture! Rawr! All to say...technology is overrated, and our lives revolve around it FAR too much! :)

4. AUGH! I just realized that my blog HAS been uploading my pictures...just to the TOP of my screen where I wasn't able to see it! OY VEY!! :) Can we say, FAIL! :) Haha. So here's my destroyed rosemary...

In the light of eternity and in the "grand scheme of things," none of these fails are that significant, I know. Sometimes our failures are so bad, and most of the time they are spiritual fails. I'm so glad the Lord loves us in spite of these and uses even the smallest failures to produce in us a more Christlike image and more spiritual fruit.

Now...on to tackle the rest of the day and hopefully avoid any more fails! :)

Word of the Week

2010-05-26T05:29:00.000-07:00

Today's word of the week comes at you from our dear friends, the French. Back in the late 1700s, this word was generally used to describe a lack of care or concern. Today, it has the idea of being lighthearted and worry-free. What is this carefree word?

insouciance

It's a noun in this form, but you can be insouciant, too.

I love words that sound cool like this. Try saying it, "in-soo-see-ahns." Of course, the French-i-fied version would sound even cooler.

I feel a bit insouciant today. :) I still have some miles to go before I sleep and before school is out on Friday. However, the biggest burdens of the school year are finished and all of the glory must go to my God!

I hope your heart is insouciant this day. Perhaps there are some needs or struggles that are threatening to rob you of your joy. Remember the faithfulness of our God and rejoice in the promise that He makes no mistakes and works all things together for our good!

Monday Madness...Tuesday Traumas....

2010-05-25T18:56:00.000-07:00

So this week has been INSANELY busy...

But, guess what?!? I survived. Once again, God's been faithful and provided above and beyond what I could have imagined. The 4 graduation ceremonies at our school are over, I just typed up my last final, and now the rest of the week is fairly smooth sailing. I'm so glad I have my friends and family to support me. However, I can honestly attest to the precious truth that without my Savior--my Rock--my Abba--I would not even be here to brag on Him after the dust has fallen and the craziness has subsided.

I've come more "profound" thoughts in the works, but for tonight, I just wanted to rejoice in the goodness of God and share a few random snapshots from the past few weeks. :)

My faithful and funny housemate Paula and me--I'm so blessed to have such a friend!

The sno-cone place FINALLY opened! :) First sno-cones of the summer!

Paula's priceless face when I told her the sno-cone place was indeed open! :)

As if life weren't exciting enough, Granny won some awesome tissues and chapstick at bingo last week--life couldn't get much better than that! :)

I'll hopefully be back at you tomorrow for some Wonderful Wednesday Writes. :) I'm trying to stay up with these memes and blogging. Thanks for your patience!

Friday Fails

2010-05-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

My friend Myra over at My Blessed Life has the Friday Fails meme going, so I'm joining the band wagon! I surely have my share of fails, so why not be transparent and share them here!? :)

I think failure is one thing I struggle with accepting. Being somewhat of a perfectionist and trying really hard to always do things right, I tend to get easily frustrated when I do fail...a trait the Lord is continuously working on in my life!

One such fail of the past few weeks is a clothing fail. I'm a teacher, so I try to look professional and put together as much as I can! :) I have a favorite brown, comfy long dress (kind of like a jumper or a maxi dress, I guess). I wear it at least once a week and can put different sweaters or tops with it. You know the kind...so versatile, yet stylish? (At least...I think it is...)

Well, a number of weeks ago, I snagged it on the silly chalkboard. (Occupational hazard, you know...) I proceeded to get a small hole in the back of it. That night at dinner, my dad noticed it. Then my mom noticed it. So I thought, ok, I will sew this up. When I got home that night I forgot about it and hung it in the closet.

A week later, I hurriedly put the dress on again one morning and went to work. Mid-way through my day, some non-observant-when-it-counts-but-over-observant-of-my shortcomings-student said, "You have a hole in your dress!"

Phooey, I thought. I forgot about that. I laughed it off and proceeded to staple--yup, staple--the hole in my dress. :) How's that for stylish!? :)

And...as is my custom...I forgot about the hole again and threw the dress into the wash. Fast forward to last week. :) You know where this is going, right?!

I wore the dress AGAIN! Somewhere in the quiet, black little part of my mind, I knew that hole was there, but I subconsciously buried the thought and wore the dress with pride. That day, not one, not two, not three, but SIX little observers had to remind me, "Hey! There's something shiny on your dress!" "Hey, there's a hole in your dress!" "Hey, what's on your dress?" I realized the staples and washing machine combination had torn a bit more of the dress away, and I tried hard to walk TOWARDS everyone that day and keep my back to the wall! :)

OY. I must be too busy for my own good to remember such important things as a gaping, cavernous hole in my dress. I thankfully have a skilled mother who is currently working on fixing it for me. :)

What fails do you have? Check out Myra's fails (as well as her other awesome posts) or write your own and link in a comment here. I think it's humbling and often humorous to share such things. It's nice to be reminded that none of us is perfect! :) Happy Friday!

Ironing out the priorities...

2010-03-23T07:51:00.000-07:00

All that God asks His grace will provide.

I've really been proving the truth of that statement this past month. As a single lady and a very involved teacher, life just seems to stay busy, busy, busy from August to May. Some months, like the past month, seem literally about to burst with activity and deadlines! But, as any seasoned college student would agree to, the totally overwhelming feeling of staring at piles of syllabi with due dates, projects, and tests (or lesson plans and grading and activities to coordinate!) is not to be compared with the totally overwhelming feeling of seeing the Lord provide what is necessary to accomplish it all! It is an amazing thing to look back upon what was once due and see what has been done.

Here we have the joyous sight of the completion of our school Yearbook--31 spreads, all submitted ON TIME.

The Yearbook in itself was quite a feat, but when that is combined with the State Fine Art and Academic Competition week, it makes for some burnt out kids (and teachers!) We pulled many late nights and several early mornings, but by Friday night at 9pm, we were celebrating numerous first, second, and third place victories and rejoicing that it was over for another year! (Congratulations to those who get to go to the National competition at BJU!)

My lovely students who are a part of the first-place handbell choir, coming soon to a National competition near you! :)

I could go on for paragraphs about how proud I am of my students, how insanely busy we all seem to be, and how READY I am for Spring Break next week! (North Carolina, here I come!) But, my real thought trail (you knew there was one somewhere, right?) revolves around the life beyond these activities. I life I too soon take for granted.

Why do I let my work consume me? I am serious here...it's consuming. I get to work early each morning and often leave late at night, only to go home and keep mentally or physically working on things for school! I don't think all other vocations have this problem. I know each job comes with its own set of woes and issues to deal with, but as a teacher, who knows other teachers, it seems our work is too often the most important thing in our lives! Married teachers seem to have this problem, too, so it's not just special to us single folk!

I've been pondering this the past few days. Mainly because after the Yearbook and speech coaching, etc. were done, I realized...whoa...I have a "normal" life again! I get to go home after work at 6pm and work out and eat dinner and clean my house and grade my papers, etc. I get to spend more time in God's Word and prayer...the 2 things that have (**blushes**) sadly taken a back seat the past month. :( My prayer life has unfortunately been "catch as catch can" and on a "need to pray for" basis...not a daily, moment by moment, vibrant prayer life! (Which I truly want!!) My Bible reading has been consistent but has often fallen to the worst moments of the day when I "have time to squeeze it in." I hate this. :(

It's when I reached the bottom of my "to do list for the month" that I realized--my priorities are STILL not right. The "Martha Syndrome" which some of you know too well and suffer from (as do I!) had begun to rear her ugly head again. I was so focused on my ministry and work that I was beginning to lose sight of Him for Whom I work.

But God, in His great mercy, doesn't leave me..or us...there. I'm amazed to think how He sustained me, even when I wasn't totally pleasing Him or was too busy with "the work He gave me" to worship the God He is. And at the end of the mess I tend to make of spiritual life, He is ever there. He hasn't moved--He's just working to pull me back and rekindle the intimacy. And if I'm honest--as I hope you can say, too--I really miss Him. I miss talking to Him as I would a Friend. I miss reading His Word and feeling as if He is speaking only to me. I yearn for Him.

I don't admit with pride that I struggle to keep my spiritual priorities straight. I hope I'm not the only one..well, I guess I do hope I'm the only one so none of you ever has to endure the pain of realizing you are not where you should be! But, I also know there are other Marthas out there. Perhaps it's your husband and children that vie for your time. Perhaps it's your job, your family, your friends...perhaps it's just you. Maybe YOU get in your way the most! (I wouldn't call that one "Martha Syndrome," but that's for another post!) Whatever is keeping you from the Lord and your intimacy with Him today, I hope my own struggles can encourage you. I hope you, as I, realize how much He just longs to be with us and how much more HE should mean to us than accomplishing a to-do list or grading papers or cleaning the house.

He commands us in His Word to draw near to Him, to love Him, to serve Him. If He asks it of us, He will give us grace to do it! (Which means I must really have been abusing His grace and taking this strength for granted the past month!) But I praise Him for the renewed desire and grace to accomplish ALL He has asked--not merely my work but also my devotion to Him.

What has He given you grace to do lately? Have you learned a spiritual truth to help combat the Martha Syndrome? I'd love for you to share. God be praised for His grace, forgiveness, and boundless love! (Now back to the ironing!)

Just one of those weeks?

2010-02-06T09:32:00.000-08:00

I'm fairly certain all of us have had a week where the days seem to last ad infinitum, and the trials seem nearly too much for our poor little human frames to bear. I try not to be too quick to complain, nor do I intend to make this post a soap box for suffering. There are still way bigger problems out in the world than mine. And when I remember that, this past week really doesn't seem so bad.

But, such a week has caused me to become a bit contemplative today. We have nearly a foot of snow outside of my house right now, so I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I guess some of us have to be forced to stay in sometimes! :) Anyway...on to the contemplation...

The culmination of the problems of the past week met their end yesterday afternoon, and I started thinking back to what led up to the problems. I realized, all of the little details that made this past week so rough had not "just happened" this past week. Things have been building/working towards/headed that way for a while, without my knowledge. Only once the actual problems took place did I realize how complex the problems had become--and how much the "human condition" really played a part in the problems themselves and the reactions to the problems. We humans really make a mess of things!

Needless to say, as I contemplate how "orchestrated" the last week really was--this part having really begun weeks ago, another part being played out within the past few days, and the attitudes of the people involved having being shaped by previous experience and current experience, I actually felt really comforted. God, in His sovereign wisdom, knew it all. He allowed certain people to experience things and think things and live things in the past months and week that would result in their attitudes and actions in the past few days. He allowed me to have a certain set of circumstances that would accomplish His own perfect will for my life. Sometimes His will is the suffering and persecution for righteousness that He knows will only make us more like Him.

I mean, we PRAY to be like Christ! We PRAY to be conformed to His image! How can we balk at what He uses to accomplish this in our lives? I am never closer to God than when I am leaning hard upon Him for wisdom in some situation. I am never more in tune with my need for Him than when I can do nothing but cry to Him. Amazingly enough, I, in effect, prayed for the difficult circumstances to happen! And, He thereby, answered my request and continues to do so.

I lamented to someone just the other day, as we sat commiserating our week, that it had been, "just one of those weeks." But, as I think back on the idea that this week "just happened," was "inevitable," or that such weeks "just happen from time to time," I think that's a faulty observation. This week didn't just happen. The problems I faced weren't "due to me." All that happened was not just "one of those things." No--life is not just happenstance!

My precious Heavenly Father planned it all! And even when my heart wants to cry, "WHY?" I already know the answer! It's found in Philippians 2:13, "For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." What a comfort to know that it's His good pleasure to sometimes--many times--place us in and through trials. No baby ever learns to walk without first learning to crawl and falling many, many times over in the process. What a joy to know He ever holds our hands and will never let us fall outside of His reach.

Yes...it was a rather burdensome week. I am still "recuperating" from much of it! But I'm also learning more about my glorious, wise Savior. Knowing more about Him and growing more like Him are worth a week like this--and so much more! It wasn't "just one of those weeks"...it was just one more week where the Lord uses His own perfect wisdom to perfect His own.

Accomplishments...

2010-01-27T18:24:00.000-08:00

These are my Juniors.
(Well, all but one...sorry, Cody.)

I don't have pictures of my other classes, but perhaps that's because I don't really have any other classes that are quite as close as this class, thus, I'm posting this one. My other classes can scream, "favortism" all they want, but it's not true. I just wanted a picture to prove to the world that I am not wasting away in some dungeon somewhere with no life.

I read my friends' blogs about their children, their husbands, their frugal supermarket finds, their home improvements, their wonderful lives of accomplishing things, and I wonder two things. #1 Is my life that cool and fulfilled? My friends post pictures and blog daily and go grocery shopping and make homemade pizza and have babies. I don't do any of that. :( #2 How do they (my friends) find time to DO all this blogging and creating and having babies?! I mean, I can hardly find time to sleep and eat a meal and workout. (Which is happening more often, thanks to the Wii...).

It's like I woke up one day and decided: my life shall consist of teaching all day, grading papers all night, serving in my church, and snagging some sleep and food in there sometimes. There's no time for babies (or husbands, if I had one...which is probably why I don't), or groceries or...blogging. :( Phooey.

However, this week has been even busier, if you can believe it. Somehow, I fit some more in there! And the feeling of "I may have to run screaming from the town" came upon me a few times. I sat down tonight after church in a bit of despair. So much still remains undone that needs to be done this week. And so much more is going on in the town and world around me: Haitians dying, former schoolmates dying, friends of friends dying, people losing jobs...and more and more. Life is hard and at times, very, very sad.

But God is good. My little problems really can't stand up to the problems going on around me. I've got my health, my family, a home, a job, and my SAVIOR. I really can't and shouldn't ever ask for more.

There's still something missing, though. That would be...a contented spirit from me.

That's why I'm blogging. I needed to get my thoughts out there and force myself to stop and think for a few minutes. I realized that sometimes my "schedule-based" life becomes WAY too schedule-based. And even my prayers and Bible reading can become methodical. :( So, I stopped. Amidst the papers to grade, the speeches to finish compiling, the tests to write--I stopped.

Instead of throwing my hands in the air and wailing, "I quit!", I threw my hands into my lap and was still and knew that HE is GOD.

No, my life is not full of coupons and babies and a husband and all of the things that somehow in my mind equal accomplishments. I can't blog and "impart my wisdom" to the world every day. I don't have a life that's "out there" for you all to see and admire and "link to" your blog. Sometimes I wish I did have that life. But in those moments of discontent (which are growing fewer and farther between), I'm learning to realize that THAT person is not who God has made me. I'm not meant to have babies and a husband and an organized, frugal, child-friendly pantry. I'm meant to teach all day, grade papers all night, love my best friend's babies, hug my Daddy, shop with my Mom, write some plays, play the organ and piano and clarinet and handbells, to sing in the shower and in the choir, enjoy my Granny, be happy for my sister and her boyfriend, learn to cook Moroccan food, decorate my quirky little house, to work out with my Wii, laugh with my housemate, cry over my students, work for the betterment of tomorrow's adults, spill out my life for the children I have not borne, and above all, to focus my thoughts and heart and entire being on my Heavenly Husband. I'm meant to live a life that's lived for others and not my own. I'm meant to give all to Christ and to have all in Him. I'm meant to live the life God has given me--to glorify God and enjoy Him forever in whatever way He has already planned out for me.

Life, therefore, is good. I'll finally get the rest I long for in heaven. I'll never be sorry I shed a tear over the hearts of my wonderful students, and I'll never regret spending just another minute or two talking with them--giving myself to them. And at the end of this life, however long it may be, if I can only hear my Lord say, "Well done, Thou good and faithful servant..." (don't you long for it!?)...if I can hear Him say that, THEN I will have accomplished something.

*****

My stack of papers doesn't look so high now.
"I can do all things through Christ..."

And my "covetous" spirit for the husband and babies and "happy housewife life" I don't have--has ceased (for now...for good?...I can pray so...)

"There is...only one way to stop covetousness.... That is to want God so much that we cannot be bothered with inordinate wants for anything else." (Joy Davidman Lewis)

My life, thankfully, is not about me. It's not about what I want. And I'm more ready than ever to give up whatever He wills to gain whatever He has pre-ordained for me!

"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." (Jim Elliot)

I am what God has made me. I am, I believe, doing what He wants me to be doing, and am becoming, I hope and pray, what He wants me to become.

"I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be, But still, I am not what I used to be, And by the grace of God, I am what I am."
(John Newton)

Perhaps, my life really will hold some "accomplishment." If my students will learn to love God and live for Him...that'd be a wonderful accomplishment, too. And if we can all stand together before our Lord one day, and I can hear Him tell them that they have been faithful, and I can know that some miniscule part of that was something I remotely had a hand in--what an accomplishment.

"For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to Whom be glory forever. Amen." (Rom. 11:36)

Spoiled Brats

2010-01-14T16:21:00.000-08:00

I recently referred to someone as a "spoiled brat." Now, I will admit very readily that I teach many spoiled brats (sorry, my darling children, but read on before you take offense...). People who are never content, always complaining, and always want their own way drive me crazy. I'm glad I'm nothing like that.

Not so.

I am a born-again American Christian with a Wonderful Savior, a job that I love, a warm home, food to eat, and more blessings than I could number here in one sitting.

And I still complain. I still am discontent at times. I still want my own way far too often.

Wow. I AM a spoiled brat. Especially when I consider the terrible suffering of the people who live in Haiti. My daily "problems" and worries are pretty much nothing when compared to those who have watched their towns crumble, their loved ones die, and their lives come crashing down around them. What right have I got to complain?

En lieu of continuing on a long diatribe here, I'll leave you (and myself) to spend some time in prayer and heart-searching. I know the next time I even think about complaining or fussing when something has not gone my way though, I will definitely be haunted by the images of those who are suffering beyond my wildest dreams in Haiti. May the Lord protect, heal, and comfort them all at this time.

One score and Ten....

2009-12-05T17:07:00.000-08:00

A Happy Birthday hug from my sweet
"niece," Cecily! :)

Thirty always sounded so old to me. It sure doesn't feel that old. But the mere sound of that word, thirty... Eesh. Aren't thirty-year-olds supposed to be mature, married, settled people with children, house payments, dogs, and a sense of accomplishment in life? If that's the case, than perhaps this birthday was really a farce, because I am therefore sadly lacking in the qualifications!

Perhaps thirty is supposed to be a state of mind. Maybe I'm supposed to have this new-found sense of knowing-what-to-do at all times. Maybe I'm supposed to have it all together. Maybe thirty is more a state than an age. Maybe...maybe thirty is sounding older all the time...

But what is old? My parents are old...right? Hmmm...not so much any more. They are seeming younger and younger. My granny...yeah, she's old. But she's always been old, I think. :) I look in the mirror and still see the high school senior wondering if the rapture will take place before she gets to go to college. I see the young woman with big dreams and a fully-thought-out, totally-logical plan for her future. And then...I wake up this morning and realize...all of those once-perfect plans changed the closer I got to thirty. College years came and went. The years of "searching" for "who I really am" are over. I'm thirty.

It's time to be serious. It's time to stop just dreaming and really start doing. It's time to find contentment in who God has made me, where He has put me, and what He has given me to do. It's time to start realizing that the future of that 18-year-old dreamer is here and now. And the plans I made once before were nothing close to what God had for me. But I'm oddly enough not sorry.

I look back on the last 3 decades of life and suddenly, I see, as it were, a thread. No, wait, it's so much more than a thread; it's a beautiful tapestry being woven. I can't see the end result--one can't with tapestries, until they are finished, you know. But as I step back and look at the different knots and colors and threads that have been used and the lovely pattern even the back of the tapestry has begun to make, I think, what a wonder. God, in His marvelous, infinite wisdom, is doing something beautiful. It's not what I planned, but what do I know? I'm just a pile of fabric, still being woven by the Master Weaver.

It's amazing how far God sometimes takes you from where you thought you'd be. And it's so amazing to me be able to believe in this new found trust of the Master. After seeing His hand at work for 30 years, I've grown to trust Him. He's never let me down or failed me. He's given me more chances than I care to admit. He gives and gives until I think He can give no more; but that's when His giving has only begun!

As I lay in bed this morning, trying to comprehend what thirty felt like, I prayed. I don't want to fail the Lord in the same ways I have the past 30 years as I enter, God-willing, the next 30. And I want to look back in ten years (let's not even think about what forty is going to feel like...) and be able to rejoice at some major spiritual and personal victories. I may not see marriage and children and all of those other typical thirty-year-old milestones on the horizon, but I know without a doubt that my Lord and Heavenly Husband has some wonderful things in store for me. He always does.

Thirty. Thirty. 30.

It seems that no matter how many times I say it or see it, that age still seems pretty unreal to me. But it's going to be a good year--even better than the last 30! There's still so much to learn and do; I plan to follow whatever paths the Lord has laid out and walk through the exciting new doors, holding tightly to His hand.

Maybe...thirty doesn't sound so bad after all. :)

She's ALIVE!!!

2009-11-09T16:58:00.001-08:00

Yes, friends, I am still here. :) I wish I were more faithful to updating you on my oh-so-exciting life, but, alas, I am not. I find it exceedingly difficult to do much of anything besides teach, minister at church, and every once in a while, spend some time with my family. :)

Suffice it to say, life continues to get busier. :) I am now coaching cheerleading on top of a myriad of other tasks and loving every minute of it! God is good to provide what I need, when I need it, and His mercies are continually new every morning. I can and will complain of nothing!

I've been reminded lately of how little I can do apart from Him. It seems the more He gives me to do in this life, the easier it is to let my time with Him slip. (Thankfully, my accountability partner doesn't let me do that too often! Thanks, P!) I am reminded each day how much I need Him, but it's amazing how little I seem to acknowledge this! What is wrong with me!? Why are we (maybe it's just me...) so quick to think we don't need the help of the Almighty, All-Powerful, Never-Changing God? It's like having the very power and strength of the universe at your fingertips and deciding to go it on your own as a weak, sniveling wretch. Foolishness!

What's even more amazing: He doesn't give up on us and let us remain in our pit. He lovingly chastises, molds us, and reshapes us into a vessel that He can use and into that which He rejoices to pour out His strength! I am rarely as forgiving of my "children" when they disobey or try to do things in their own strength. What a loving, gracious, forgiving Father!

November is quickly fleating, and as I look back on this year, I realize the theme has largely been trusting and depending on the perfect Lord Who promises grace for all that He asks of me and remembering how little I am without Him. I had some high goals for myself this year, many of which I did not attain. I've seen some great victories, spiritually, but I'm saddened to think of what I could have perhaps accomplished and how much closer I could have been to my Savior had I not gotten in the way of His work in my life.

Lord, in the remaining weeks of my twenties (25 days until I am 30--EEK!) and in the remaining days of this year, may my light burn brighter than ever, may my heart be softer than ever, and my love for You continue to grow! May I truly depend upon You for all things and trust that Your timing, Your plan, and Your ways truly are best! Cause me to die to myself and my fleshly desires and to live only unto You! Take this often hardened clay and rework me into a vessel fit for the greatest service in Your kingdom--no job too hard, no day too long, no task too great for You! And above all, may I delight in Your Word afresh each day, may Your desires become mine, and may my life be unto You a blessing and joy, Father. You deserve nothing but my best! I praise You for life, praise You for all You give, and praise You for all that You promise! Indeed, I praise You that You are my God--the Lover of my Soul and the Joy of my Heart!

Weekend Wrap-Up

2009-10-12T12:31:00.000-07:00

Ah....a lovely and quite fun weekend was had...by me! :) My sister, after a little convincing and help from me, came home this weekend and surprised my mom! (My mom walked right by Lisa...then turned and realized Lisa was standing there! It was priceless!) :) It was my sister's birthday on Thursday, so we all enjoyed a nice evening at home, after visiting my Granny, who, unfortunately, is still not doing too well after her stroke. Please keep her in your prayers.

On Friday, my sister and I went to accomplish some fun and not-so-fun tasks, like renewing driver's licenses, eating not-so-yummy breakfasts at an unnamed restaurant, heading to the apple orchard, only to find that this particular orchard was NOT offering U-Pick this year. :( I did, however, enjoy a nice lunch with my friend and her sweet girls (while my sister waited an INSANE hour and a half to get her new phone...ARGH!). We finished off the afternoon with some random shopping, a trip to see my Granny again, and a yummy pizza dinner and movie at home. It ended well!

Saturday was full of activity, too, as we crammed in a visit to my Granny and my Grandma (who is doing really well!), shopping in Noblesville, lunch at Red Robin, and some good old-fashioned sister-time. :) Dinner at home and some more family time made a nice ending to the weekend.

Church on Sunday morning was a blessing, and as my family bid a sad farewell to Lisa (who headed back up north to teach her little K3 dears), I settled down for a quick nap (for a change!) and then headed back to church that evening.

I'm thankful for my family, now more than ever! As some single friends and I enjoyed coffee on Sunday evening, we talked about "finding Mr. Right," and joked about all the "Mr. Wrongs" out there. I realized how glad I am that I have an earthly father who loves me and a Heavenly Father who is all I need at all times. I may never have an earthly husband, but that's ok with me. My Heavenly Husband is far better in every aspect! And my earthly family (who will, thankfully, one day be my heavenly family, too!) is such a blessing. Praise God for a weekend such as this, for the friends and family He has given me, and for the Faithful Father He is.

Just the Facts...

2009-09-19T16:38:00.000-07:00

"It is not the sense of His presence, it is the fact of His presence that is our strength and stay.... and when there is not any feeling, we rest on his bare word, 'Lo, I am with you always, all the days, and all day long,' and are content."
-Amy Carmichael

I pirated this quote from a friend's Facebook status a few days ago because it really got me thinking! I think the Lord has been teaching me this truth for several months now and is still working me over!

There are times when I just don't "feel it." Particularly after a long, tiring, trying day of teaching, I find myself feeling...well, almost nothing. All I want in those moments (or hours!) is to exist: to not have to deal with any emotions or problems or anything! But it's in those times when I am most drained that I most need filled. And it's in those times when God seems furthest away that I need Him most. It's in those times when I don't "feel" like a Christian should supposedly feel that His grace, His love, and His presence are really at their strongest. For God is not simply a God of feeling but of fact. His presence doesn't have to be felt to be real.

I've been thinking about this in regards to worship, too. My town--and largely, our nation--are being eaten alive with the idea that Christianity is a feel-good, experience-God, sing-and-dance-because-God-makes-us-feel-like-it type society. Churches are full of people (and usually full of self and empty theology) who think if they don't feel something in "worship" that day, they haven't been worshiping. (Not picking on anyone in particular here...)

The sad fact is, the real worship is going on down the street at the churches where God is honored, sin is condemned, and we are made to feel like the blood-bought sinners-saved-by-grace that we are. Real worship is based on fact, not on feeling. It's based on what pleases God and not what pleases us. But I digress....

Contentment lies not in feeling like a Christian but in knowing you possess the God of the universe as your Father-Creator-Husband. Trust in Him lies not in "sensing His presence," although at times, we can; it lies in knowing that He is there and keeps His promises.

When I was little, I didn't have to see my daddy sleeping in his bedroom to feel safe at night. I didn't have to sense his presence in the house. I knew he was there, and usually, knowing was enough. The same is true--even more so!--with my God. I've never seen Him. I've seen His miracles, His power, and the result of His existence. I've never physically felt Him, although I know there have been hands and hugs and smiles from others that have carried His love! But I don't NEED to SEE. I don't NEED to FEEL. I KNOW. I have exceeding precious promises that have never and can never be broken. I have Christ--today, tomorrow, and forever. And I know it--whether I can feel His presence or whether I feel like a "good Christian" at any given time.

And the knowing--well, that just makes the precious times when I DO feel His presence all the better. It's like seeing a loved one after a long separation or finally putting a "face" to the love letters He's written me in His Word--the Bible. It often happens in the times when true worship takes place, and all I can do is marvel and weep at His love for me and His goodness and His patience. The times when God is seen or felt not in physical form, but in the heart. The times when He is felt within my soul. Those are the times that, as I get to know Him more, I expect will appear with greater frequency, for my heart will be even more in tune with His. But even if they don't, even He chooses to let me feel His presence on only rare occasions, I will still know He is there. And that's a fact. For now. Forever.

Cause to Weep, Cause to Worship

2009-09-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

This poem, found today while searching for something else, is perhaps one of the greatest I have ever read. I hope you'll read every line and allow the truth to sink in. It brought me to tears and caused a great rejoicing and reviving in my own heart. The words speak for themselves and need nothing more from me. Enjoy, friends!

Come heavenly love, inspire my song
With thy immortal flame,
And teach my heart, and teach my tongue
The Savior’s lovely name.
The Savior! 0 what endless charms
Dwell in the blissful sound!
Its influence every fear disarms,
And spreads sweet comfort round.

Here pardon, life, and joys divine
In rich effusion flow,
For guilty rebels lost in sin,
And doomed to endless woe.
In our first parent's crime we fell;
Our blood, our vital breath,
Deep tinged with all the seeds of ill,
Sad heirs to sin and death.

Black o’er our wrath-devoted heads
Avenging justice frowned
While hell disclosed her deepest
shades And horrors rose around.
Wrapt in the gloom of dark despair,
We helpless, hopeless lay:
But sovereign mercy reached us there,
And smiled despair away.

God’s only son, (stupendous grace!)
Forsook his throne above;
And swift to save our wretched race,
He flew on wings of love.
Th’ Almighty former of the skies
Stooped to our vile abode;
While angels viewed with wondering eyes,
And hailed the incarnate God.

The God in heavenly strains they sung,
Arrayed in human clay:
Mysterious love ! what angel tongue
Thy wonders can display?
Mysterious love, in every scene,
Through all his life appears:
His spotless life exposed to pain,
And miseries and tears.

What blessings on a thankless race?
His bounteous hand bestowed!
And from his tongue what wondrous grace,
What rich instruction flowed!
The dumb, the deaf, the lame,
the blind Confessed his healing power;
Disease and death their prey resigned,
And grief complained no more.

Infernal legions trembling fled,
Awed by his powerful word;
And winds and seas his voice obeyed,
And owned their sovereign Lord.
But man, vile man, his love abused
Blind to the noblest good
Blasphemed his power, his word refused,
And sought his sacred blood.

Still his unwearied love pursued
Salvation’s glorious plan;
And firm the approaching horrors viewed
Deserved by guilty man.
What pain, what soul-oppressing pain,
The great Redeemer bore;
While bloody sweat, like drops of rain,
Distilled from every pore!

And ere the dreadful storm descends
Full on his guiltless head,
See him by his familiar friends
Deserted and betrayed!
While ruffian bands the Lord surround,
Relentless, murderous foes;
Meek, as a lamb for slaughter bound,
The patient sufferer goes

Arraigned at Pilate’s impious bar,
(Unparralled disgrace!)
See spotless innocence appear
In guilt’s detested place!
When perjury fails to stain his name,
The mob’s envenomed breath
Extorts his sentence, “Public shame
And painful lingering death.”

Patient, the cruel scourge he bore;
The innocent, the kind!
Then to the rabble’s lawless power
And rudest taunts consigned
With thorns they crown that awful brow,
Whose frown can shake the globe;
And on their king in scorn bestow
The reed and purple robe.

Ah! see the fatal cross appears,
Heart-wounding, dreadful scene
His sacred flesh rude iron tears,
With agonizing pain.
Exposed with thieves, to public view
Could nature bear the sight?
The blushing sun his beams withdrew,
And wrapped the globe in night!

Then, Oh! what loads of wrath unknown
The glorious sufferer felt;
For crimes unnumbered to atone,
To expiate mortal guilt!
The Father’s blissful smile withdrawn,
In that tremendous hour;
Yet still the God sustained the man
With his almighty power,

“Tis finished,” now aloud he cries,
“No more the law requires”
And now, (amazing sacrifice!)
The Lord of life expires.
Earth’s firm foundation felt the shock,
With universal dread;
Trembled the mountain, rent the rock,
And waked the sleeping dead!

Now breathless in the silent tomb,
His sacred body lies:
Thither his loved disciples come,
With sorrow-streaming eyes.
But see the promised morn appear
Their joy revives again;
The Savior lives; adieu to fear,
To every anxious pain.

His kindest words their doubts remove,
Confirm their wavering faith;
He bids them teach the world his love,
Salvation by his death.
Triumphant he ascends on high,
The glorious work complete
Sin, death, and hell, low vanquished lie
Beneath his awful feet.

There, with eternal glory crowned,
The Lord, the conqueror, reigns;
His praise the heavenly choirs resound
In their immortal strains.
Amid the splendors of his throne,
Unchanging love appears;
The names he purchased for his own,
Still on his heart he bears

Still with prevailing power he pleads
Their cause for whom he died;
His Spirit’s sacred influence sheds,
Their comforter and guide.
For them, reserves a radiant crown,
Bought with his dying blood;
And worlds of light, and joys unknown,
For ever near their God.

0 the rich depths of love divine!
Of bliss, a boundless store:
Dear Savior, let me call thee mine;
I cannot wish for more.
I yield to thy dear conquering arms,
I yield my captive soul:
0 let thy all-subduing charms
My inmost powers control!

On thee alone my hope relies:
Beneath thy cross I fall,
My Lord, my life, my sacrifice,
My Savior and my all.

--Anne Steele (1716-1788)

Of Students and Blessings and Time Well Spent...

2009-09-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

The hiatus from writing is at long last over! Although, I imagine most eyes which happen upon this won't have missed it, but I in truth have missed writing and have meant to time and time again. However, the festivities and preoccupations of the summer have kept me away! A thousand pardons!

God has been so good--and continues to be so! He has provided for me and for my school/church in ways I could have never dreamt of! We now boast 130 students and school is in full-swing. My students---MY STUDENTS!!--they are amazing to me. I will confess that 2.5 years ago, when I left many of them, wondering if I'd see them again, I was disheartened. I was discouraged by apathy, a lack of Christlikeness (on my part on theirs!), a general bad attitude in many of them, and other similar characteristics that seemed to plague the student body.

But the students who met me last Monday morning were transformed. Little "junior highers" of the past were now tall, calm(ish), maturing young people, many of whom have discovered a zeal for the Lord and a desire to do right while pouring themselves into the fleeting days of high school. There is peace, harmony, and an undercurrent of--dare I say it?--excitement and joy?! YES! It's there! God has worked in their lives and is continuing to do so! PRAISE HIM, PRAISE HIM, PRAISE HIM!

If any of you students read this, KNOW THIS--I am so excited to be teaching you and so thankful for what I have seen God already accomplishing in your lives---many of you without even knowing it! You are a great blessing to me. I am busy with service and ministry, and yet I do not feel the pains/stresses/pressures I once felt. Much of this is due to the Lord working in my own heart, but the rest is His working in yours and allowing this student body to be a vastly different one than before! I praise God for you and love you so very much, my precious children!

As if God had not been good enough to me, He also has given me a summer of interesting pursuits, such as renewing my discovery of pottery. I finished several pieces just 2 weeks ago and am awaiting some other items from the kiln in the coming weeks.

I spent many happy hours with my Granny this summer, relishing the too-short time we have together. (I even won 2 games of Bingo!--hehe!) She has been a joy to enjoy! :) How blessed to have such priceless treasures in my family! I also reconnected with some cousins, aunts, uncles, and my other Grandma (unfortunately during her short hospital and nursing home stay), and was blessed to see how God is working in their lives. Praise Him again!

Another blessing has been my classroom. It's come together nicely! I got the room I wanted and have enjoyed making it my own. Now perhaps some day I will have a home of my own to put my own touch on! (But I am patient...)

Perhaps one of the biggest blessings of the summer has been how I've seen God providing contentment in my life. It seems the battle to be content with singleness and my "position" in society and in the great "scheme of things" is one that has been hard-fought. But, I realized only a few days ago that the Lord has brought a victory in this area. I for once am looking at life without the ever-compelling need to "find a man," but have instead embraced where the Lord has me and am looking forward to living life with the one true Lover of my Soul--Who is all I need! Life is not about waiting but about living! I'm going to enjoy every moment!

Personally, the summer was one of spiritual highs and lows. The Lord took away some things and people I loved dearly; I still feel the loss, keenly. But He also gave in abundance and provided new people to love and an inner peace that His way is always best. I still have many mountains to climb, but His hand is leading me, His arms are upholding me, and His love surrounds me.

May God's richest blessings be upon you! Much love from me! :)

Why, Lord?

2009-08-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in so long! Things have just been busy, busy, busy, and my thoughts have been many and too much to write.

I read a thought-provoking quote tonight, "The purpose of our trials is not only to test our worthiness but also to increase it, just as the mighty oak is tested by the storms as well as strengthened by them."

I've been tempted, and unfortunately fallen to the temptation, to ask, "Why, Lord?" many times this summer. I caught myself thinking, "I don't need this. This can't be good. What's going on?" in several instances.

But the Lord has been gracious and little by little has renewed belief in the Biblical facts that God only does that which is good, He gives us EXACTLY what we need, and that every joy and trial comes from above. It's so easy when going through a trial to wonder where in the world God is leading; but the joyous fact was stated so clearly above: trials test our worthiness and also increase it. We cannot be made more like Him if we do not endure trials, just as He was willing to endure for us.

Sure, it's easy when the trial is over or the hope has returned that it may be over soon to delight in this truth. But try telling it to yourself when the trial has only begun! Regrettably, we often look at our God through the veil of the circumstances instead of looking at the circumstances through the eyes of our great God.

I challenge you to read Isaiah 49:11 and Job 28:23-24 today. If ever there was a man who had reason to complain and question God amid his trials, it was Job. And yet his godly, consistent example continues to hit home for all of us. At the end of the day or trial, God is still God. He's still in control, and He can see the end of the road. He knows where every twist and turn lies and better still, He knows the reason for each one. Who are we to question Him? He's our potter, we're His clay. And He knows just the kind of vessel He's making, just what it's good for, and just what pressures and molding and shaping it needs to achieve His perfect goal.

Thank God for trials and thank God that He is in full control through each one!

Buyers and Sellers

2009-07-11T17:30:00.000-07:00

"O God, Thou art in Jesus the object of inexpressible joy, and I take exceeding pleasure in the thought of thee...let me love Thee in a love that covers and swallows up all, that I may not violate my chaste union with the Beloved. There is much unconquered territory in my nature, scourge out the buyers and sellers of my soul's temple, and give me in return pure desires and longings after perfect holiness."
--The Valley of Vision, Puritan Prayers

I came across this prayer today while spending some much-needed time with my Lord. I began pondering the idea of there being "buyers and sellers" of our souls' temples. The Gospels recount to us how Christ drove out the money changers in the temple of God. (See Mark 11 or Matthew 21)

Much as these people were using God's house for their own profit and exploitation, Satan would use those things which I allow to rule in my heart and life to profit his evil kingdom and thwart the Lord's plans. But I had to ask myself, what am I allowing my soul to "buy" into or for what am I willing to "sell" my soul? What hidden (or not so hidden) sins, desires, or temptations do I allow to abide in the Lord's temple of my heart?

The answers, I'm afraid, are always ugly and nothing any one of us would ever want to share with others. Of course, I don't intend to air my dirty laundry all over cyberspace, but I do hope the Lord can use these thoughts to pierce your soul, too, because no matter the sin, desire, or temptation you or I allow to rule our hearts, if it is ruling even a portion, it's really ruling all!

The Lord is still teaching me that a heart that harbors anything or values anything above Christ, cannot be totally devoted to Him. The buyers and sellers of the soul--the sins, the unchecked thoughts, the bitterness, the pride, the rebellion, the hypocrisy--and on and on we could go!--these buyers and sellers don't just set-up shop for a day in our hearts! They take over the entire enterprise! And soon, our Lord is no longer the Primary Tenant and Shopkeeper (I speak reverently). He is reduced to landlord over a stinking, festering, noisesome population of scam-artists, crooks, and charlatans. And although He is a gracious owner of this valuable soul property, never leaving or forsaking it, He cannot and will not allow His precious possession to continue so!

Then comes the painful process of scourging these buyers and sellers of the soul. At times, it's more painful than we can imagine. We see ourselves for what we are and realize how very wicked we can be. Our love for the world and ourselves has threatened to consume us and make us unfit for service! In shame and often despair, we weep at the wounded feet of our Savior--Father, forgive me!

But then--THEN!--the silver lining. The moment when we realize that, yes, I have failed again, and I am not worthy to be called a child of God! In this moment, the parallel truth comes--at times whispering as a gentle breeze on our hot bed of tears, at times overwhelming us as waves on the vast sea of despair--God loves me! He sent His Son to die for me! And I am not alone. I need not live as a beast when God has called me to be His Princess! And the sins and selfish desires that so easily creep in do not have to rule and take permanent residence! For He has promised that when I am weak, then He is strong. All that He asks of me, His grace will provide for me! His mercies are new every morning! His faithfulness is great! And my sins--praise God!--are washed in the blood of the lamb, and I stand, clothed in His righteousness before the throne of God! Me--once a stranger to Him, once lost, once without hope, once without God, once the chief of sinners!--my name is written on His hand and graven on His heart. I am His and He is mine. And nothing can separate me from this love!

Think of it! The buyers and sellers of our souls take up residency as long as we allow them or until the Lord forces them from us, but whether these dark clouds have been residing within us for many years or are simply "surveying" the property and thinking of setting up shop, there is hope. There is a God--THE GOD--in heaven Who loves us in spite of these and delights in saving us from them, if we will let Him!

Father, scourge out these evils and place within my heart a love for You that indeed swallows all else and causes me to rejoice in the faithful, beautiful, matchless Savior and Lover of my soul. May I take exceeding pleasure in the very thought of Thee.

On being still

2009-06-27T18:32:00.000-07:00

"Calm me, my God, and keep me calm,
While these hot breezes blow;
Be like the night-dew’s cooling balm
Upon earth’s fevered brow.

Calm me, my God, and keep me calm,
Soft resting on Thy breast;
Sooth me with holy hymn and psalm,
And bid my spirit rest.

Calm me, my God, and keep me calm;
Let Thine outstretchèd wing
Be like the shade of Elim’s palm
Beside her desert spring.

Yes, keep me calm, though loud and rude
The sounds my ear that greet,
Calm in the closet’s solitude,
Calm in the bustling street;

Calm in the hour of buoyant health,
Calm in my hour of pain;
Calm in my poverty or wealth
Calm in my loss or gain;

Calm in the sufferance of wrong,
Like Him Who bore my shame,
Calm ’mid the threatening, taunting throng
Who hate Thy holy Name;

Calm as the ray of sun or star
Which storms assail in vain;
Moving unruffled through earth’s war,
The eternal calm to gain."

Have you ever seen a bee or other winged-being caught in a jar? They fly and fly in circles, up, down, and all around, trying to get out. Finally, exhausted, they lie there and summon up more strength, trying again and again in vain to escape.

I have felt like such a being this week. I feel as though I have flown and flown in hundreds of different directions and really accomplished very little! I look back at the week, and I am tired. My heart hurts, my head hurts, and my soul is weary. So many questions remain unanswered concerning the coming school year. So many people are still trying to make sense of what his or her exact role will be. There are even those pessimists who believe such a week as this past week is that which will tear our church and school apart. (Trust in God!)

I've given it a lot of thought. I still don't have all the answers. But I don't think I need to. I just need to be still. I need to stop spinning and flying around my "jar," trying to accomplish something! God is still good. He is still--and has always been--in control. What He allows to happen, He uses for His good pleasure and our best good. And although so many questions remain unanswered and plans still need to be made, I can rest my head tonight, confident that, "Faithful is He Who calleth you, Who also will do it!" "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me!"

Tonight I read from Psalm 68:28, which says, "Summon your power, O God; show us your strength!" I prayed such a prayer as I read it. God's power is limitless, and His grace is greater. His wisdom is infinite, and His ways are unsearchable. We need Him to show us His strength in providing for our needs and in exalting Himself in the midst of change and trials.

The song above is from an old hymn by Horatius Bonar. When all of life around us is behaving like the "insect in the jar," we need to step back and be calm. For it is then that we can hear His still, small voice. It is when we are leaning upon Him that we can hear the beating of His heart--the heart that loved us enough to be broken for us! It's in the moments of calm that He whispers, "I am here, and I have a plan that far surpasses your feeble ability, my child. Lean upon me, run to me, trust in me, for I am God and work all things for your good, even when you don't understand or can't see where the next step is."

As I begin a new week (and thank my Father He gives us Sundays to start our weeks out right!), I realize I need Him to calm my heart and soothe my soul. Oh, Great Comforter, be such to me--to all of us--today!

This is the way...

2009-06-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

It's difficult to condense into one blog all that has been going on in my mind this past week. It's been an emotionally high and low time!

To the few who may read this and actually have a frame of reference for what's going on in my home church and school, I trust these thoughts and verses may be an encouragement to you. The Lord knew I needed them most desperately as I read them tonight. To the rest of you, perhaps the Lord knows of your need for encouragement in some way.

Isaiah 30 was one of those "treasure trove" passages I was directed to but had never really considered very closely. What truths and rebuke! God warns His people about wrong alliances and practices in the beginning of the chapter, but envelopes them in comfort and compassion at the end. Verses 18-21 tells them and us that the Lord longs to be gracious and waits to have compassion on us. When He hears our cries, He will answer...what a thought! Then, of particular comfort to me today was verse 21,

"Your ears will hear a word behind you,'This is the way, walk in it,' whenever you turn to the right or to the left."

I nearly cried as I read this verse. The dark paths, confusion, wonderings, and wanderings are merely passing circumstances! Our Savior is there, at times shouting at other times whispering, "This is the way, walk in it..." With our Lord as our Guide, we have no need for fear, for His perfect love casts out fear! He created the path upon which He placed us, did He not? He created the shadows around us, often to drive us to Himself or refine us into greater Christlikeness! And He created us for His perfect plan and purpose.

I have many questions about the future, and my manipulative and controlling nature wants to jump in and make the decisions and do what I can (in my feeble human strength!) to make things turn out how I believe God might want them. But the truth is, He already knows where my church, my school, and I am going! Whether His plans mesh with my concept of what should happen or not, I can trust that He will do what is best. If it's His will to do something that I totally do not understand, I must trust (in quietness and confidence!) that it is His will for us and me for this time.

Thank you, Abba Father, that You delight in showing us the way and holding our hand as we walk in it!

Busy Week = Lack of Posts!

2009-06-20T15:16:00.001-07:00

With VBS over (what a GREAT, but t-i-r-i-n-g! week!), I now have time to get back to life. :) Saw my Granny today--what a dearie. Am contemplating things and will post again tonight or tomorrow. Much to think and pray about in the coming days--but God is good and in control!

Night Songs

2009-06-07T11:29:00.001-07:00

I found 4 references to God giving us "songs in the night," as I was studying His Word today. (Job 35:10, Ps. 42:8, Ps. 77:6, and Is. 30:29) I liked them all, but taken in context, Psalm 42:8, "Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life," spoke to me the most today.

I had always thought of this verse as a comfort, because it tells of the Lord's compassion, strength, and peace during our times of uncertainty, fear, woe, or other "nights" of darkness that may occur in our spiritual walk.

I contemplated two new (to me) thoughts about this verse, though. It's amazing how the Lord brings new insights into His Word and His Truths just when we need them!!

To me, darkness is not usually a welcome thing. I admit, I can rarely get to sleep in a room that is totally dark. For some reason, the emptiness just gets to me, and I can't take it! :) I usually sleep with some kind of little light source--even if it's just the glow from my CD player. I don't know if the verse is really figurative here or not--does night really mean the "bleakness" of our lives at times? I don't know, but I do know that darkness--night--can be a good thing! A chance to rest, regain strength, and rejuvenate rarely comes during the day for most of us! So, could not this song be a joyful song of praise and thanksgiving for the night? I don't know--it bears more pondering. This thought led me elsewhere, though...

Perhaps the more familiar application of this verse is that God gives us songs of peace and comfort when we are experiencing the dark night within our spirit or in our lives. But, I went a step further, and I realized--if we want that song, we must have the night.

To pray for God to increase your faith, to give you peace, and to fill you with joy is to sometimes, inadvertently, pray for the night! Think about it! Rainbows only come from rain, patience usually comes from the trying of our faith, and the greatest growth is often seen while enduring the greatest trials.

Our Lord gives us songs in the night--such a blessing! But we must look beyond the blessing of the song and see the blessing of a Heavenly Father Who knows we need the night--a blessing in itself!--in order to gain the blessing of a song during that night with which to praise Him!

Perhaps, then, the two thoughts go hand-in-hand. Our "night" may at once be a time of rejoicing in the God of that night and rejoicing in the fact that He has ordained to give us the night. Our songs in the night are songs of praise to God and praise for His all-wise provision!

The psalmist said, "He hath put a new song in my mouth..." I wonder if that new song is often a song that can only be sung when we realize the powerful wisdom and perfect control our Father has. We might never pray for the night to come, but how sweet to realize that He knew we needed it and promises to hold our hand as we pass through, giving us songs to sing to Him and for Him in the midst! Lord, make my heart and spirit to overflow with praise at all times and to rejoice in the day as well as the night. Thank you for being my Song in the night and for putting a new song within my heart!

Where is the God of Elijah?

2009-06-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

There are many needs on my mind this week--all of them much bigger than my limited resources can solve! Our country, our leaders, my church, my school, and so many others are in need of Divine Intervention--in short--they need miracles!

Sometimes I think we humans have a "sit back and wait" attitude when it comes to miracles. We know the Lord is in control, so we pray a little prayer when it comes to mind, and we sit and wait for a miracle to happen. But the God of Elijah wasn't so easily moved. Elijah and other Biblical role models like him had to put a little more effort and something we don't seem to truly grasp into their prayers and life: complete assurance and faith in God.

Why doesn't God work today like He did in Elijah's day? There are some "schoolbook" answers, of course. Perhaps He is teaching me and you and all of us patience and trust and doesn't communicate with us like He did with Elijah, etc, etc. I suppose that could be true. But, I think that's sometimes just a lazy, selfish, prideful answer.

Perhaps--just perhaps--it's our fault. Where was Elijah when his country needed him? Not sending in anger-filled e-mails to the news stations or sitting in his comfortable church pew complaining about the corrupt leaders. He was calling down rain and fire from heaven with his prayers! He was putting his faith into verbal and literal action by taking the promises of God for what they were and begging--pleading--with God to prove Himself! Elijah was waiting on God, to be sure, but He wasn't being lazy while he waited. He was doing what I know I fail to do far too often--he was praying and pouring himself out to the God of the universe until it hurt. (And what a thought! That glorious God of the universe actually listens to scrawny little humans! Praise Him!)

How long has it been since you've given up a meal to pray? How long has it been since you've spent more than 10 minutes in prayer for your country, our leaders, your church, or your unsaved loved ones? Oh, I'm not pointing a finger at you that I'm not pointing doubly at me! I'm terribly guilty of not praying as I should as often as I should!

We're too comfortable. And we'll never see the God of Elijah work in our lives and the needs of our hearts and country until we realize that the God of Elijah is the same God we serve! And He's waiting for today's Elijah's to call on Him.

How sad that God may be the one doing the waiting--on us! Lord, stir our hearts! Make us bow in humble submission, crying out to You to do the unthinkable! You can do so much more than we can even ask!

Blessings Abundant

2009-05-28T13:59:00.000-07:00

The past week I've been really blessed with a few days off! It's been so neat and special to spend time with my Granny, my "nieces," and their mommy--one of my best friends! :) Here are a few photos from the past week...

Arden and me, enjoying a few blissful moments out of doors. :)

Arden is so sweet and makes the cutest faces! What a joyful child!

Kindren and the girls came to visit my granny with me. Cecily warmed up after a few minutes and sang and smiled and played. It was precious! My granny enjoyed it a lot.

Granny got some new glasses and looks so cute. It's been fun spending more time with her these weeks.

Praise the Lord for the precious moments we can spend with friends and family. What a tremendous blessing they are! :)

His Robes for Mine--What An Exchange!

2009-05-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

His robes for mine: O wonderful exchange!
Clothed in my sin, Christ suffered 'neath God's rage.
Draped in His righteousness I'm justified.
In Christ I live, for in my place He died.

His robes for mine: what cause have I for dread?
God's daunting Law, Christ mastered in my stead.
Faultless I stand, with righteous works not mine.
Saved by my Lord's vicarious death and life.

His robes for mine: God's justice is appeased.
Jesus is crushed, and thus the Father's pleased.
Christ drank God's wrath on sin, then cried, "Tis done!"
Sin's wage is paid, propitiation won.

His robes for mine: such anguish none can know.
Christ, God's beloved, condemend as though His foe.
He, as though I, accursed and left alone.
I, as though He, embraced and welcomed home!

I cling to Christ and marvel at the cost.
Jesus forsaken, God estranged from God.
Bought by such love, my life is not my own.
My praise, my all, shall be for Christ alone.
--Chris Anderson/words --Greg Habegger/music

The thought that I stand before an Almighty, Holy God with the righteousness of His perfect Son--what greater joy can there be! What sweeter song can I sing than, "I am redeemed!" I have been bought with the greatest price and owe my very life to Him Who gave His own for it. There is nothing I can add to His work on the cross--and praise Him--I don't have to! My righteousness is Christ. He has taken His robes for mine and placed me in His own. Praise you, Lord. I bless You and exalt You. You indeed are Beauty, Wisdom, and Majesty--my Everlasting God!

Though unsought, the Gift was given…

2009-05-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

Today’s thoughts come, once again, from the book, The Valley of Vision. This book is a collection of Puritan prayers that never fail to stir my heart and prompt me to more fervent prayer myself. While I don’t necessarily endorse all that the Puritans may have done, their view of God, of themselves, and of sin are views more of us should be willing to take today.

"Unsought, Thou hast given me the greatest Gift, the person of Thy Son, and in Him, Thou wilt give me all I need.”

I have been thinking the past year about the reality that God gives us all we need. Several months ago while still employed at Bob Jones University, I heard a message given by Dr. Jim Berg. Dr. Berg made much of the fact that what we have is what we need. End of story. Case closed. At first glance, saying, “God gives me all I need,” is easy to swallow. Of course He does, right?

But as I mulled over this concept, I was smitten with some hard but true facts. A beautiful, sun-drenched day? Surely needed that. Finding that extra $20 in my purse? I know I need that! That flat tire the other day? Yup–I guess I needed that. The headache I have tonight–I suppose, for some reason, I need that, too. The lack of funds to get a Master’s degree?–definitely must need that to be happening right now–right? The death of a loved one?–whoa, wait–do we really need that? The loss of a job–how can I possibly need that?!

I realized that what I categorized as “needs” were really “wants” or perceived needs. As we look at life–do we really know what we need? Do I NEED a job? Well, it’s sure nice to have one. It brings in the money, provides insurance, etc…but…no. I guess, I don’t NEED it–the Lord could provide money and insurance another way. He just chose to allow me to have a job right now to provide those things. Do I need my car to start each day? Well, in order to get to work or church–those are noble, good causes, right? But what if it doesn’t? What if my car breaks down?! What if I can’t get to church to play the piano and teach children and MINISTER?!?! I definitely, absolutely need my car to start each day.

Nope. I don’t need that, either…not unless the Lord deems it necessary.

The quote I mentioned at the beginning says, “Unsought, Thou hast given me the greatest Gift…” Truth be told, we stupid humans would never have sought the Lord Jesus had we been “running the show” or deciding how the history of the world would play out. We’re not that wise, giving, loving, or compassionate…we’re selfish. The world God created rebelled against Him, and He could have chosen to leave us that way. But He wasn’t like us–a self-serving God would never have sent His only Son to die for anyone. I wouldn’t send anyone I loved to die for you–sorry, no offense–and you wouldn’t do it for me, either! We didn’t seek the greatest Gift ever given–in our selfish human capacity, we would probably think we needed something else! We wouldn’t have known we needed a Savior in the first place, had the Lord not allowed Himself to be revealed to His creation! We don’t naturally seek what we truly need, do we? Oh, we know when our bodies “need” food or rest or shaping-up, but beyond those basic, carnal needs, we have no idea what we really need! We seek what pleases our flesh–too often first and foremost!

The point? We must trust that ALL God gives us is exactly what He knows we need. The good, the bad, and the sometimes very ugly. Acknowledging this leaves no room for complaining or griping or whining or questioning Him. And it opens a wonderful new world of joy and trust in His timing, His ways, and His wisdom.

I’m so thankful that He gave –and contines to give– what I don’t seek for. The times of struggle are often times of refinement, chastening, and growth. The gloomy days often bring the brightest rainbows. And the moments of sweet peace and communion make Him seem that much closer and dearer. I have the person of His Son as mine!

Surely I have ALL I need.

The work of prayer

2009-05-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

"Let me know that the work of prayer is to bring my will to Thine, and that without this it is folly to pray.”
–Valley of Vision Puritan Prayers

Having spent more time in prayer in recent weeks than I have in recent months, the truth of the quote I read today really struck a chord. So Too often when I pray, it is a prayer of need and desire, but not the desires the Lord Himself would have for me. I am far too unlike Him to be so unselfish! My prayers are not to be about me, I forget. They are to be cries of dependency, prayers that seek the will of the Lord first, no matter what my own desires may be. Didn’t Christ Himself pray to the Father, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done…” The prayer too often on my lips is a prayer full of pride and sin, exalting the creature’s perceived needs above the Creator’s proven wisdom. God has promised us so many things and will accomplish them as He pleases according to His will–for His glory and our good!

I need a heart that is “frameable to [His] will,” as the Puritans said it. When I consider that the Lord knows my needs and gives me all that I need, my prayers should take on a new life. Instead of praying that, for instance, I might not be sick, not only should my words say, “according to Your good-pleasure and will, Father,” but my heart must truly echo this cry. I must believe firmly in my heart that the Lord will accomplish His purpose and pleasure in my life at all times and then act upon this belief in my prayers. The Lord tells us that if we “ask in faith, believing, [we] shall receive.” But I noticed today, as I meditated on this verse, He does not promise that we shall receive exactly what we ask for when we ask for it. Nor does this verse implicate that God is a genie in a bottle waiting to grant us our wishes if we simply have enough faith.

The real object of prayer here is not the fervency or the strength of our believing, but the God in Whom we “live and move and have our being.” If my faith, hope, and trust is truly in the Lord, and I am seeking His will above my own, I will ask for that which pleases Him and is for my good. And this is what He has promised to give–that which we need and that which is for our good. And–praise Him!–it’s exactly what we receive! Thus, when I pray, let’s say, that a sickness might be removed, the best, most God-honoring prayer would be to thank Him for His wisdom in allowing me to be sick, thank Him that He knows what is best for me, and beg Him to help me to rejoice in His good will for my life. I may plead with Him–”Lord, I am weak and would wish not to be sick.” But in my heart and in my prayer, I must also acknowledge that He is greater than me and has a perfect plan for whatever happens to me! I may not, in my human weakness, want to be sick, but He, by His grace and wisdom, may have allowed it. Instead of praying for deliverance, I should be praying for His will–whether that entails deliverance or endurance! And I should pray that my heart would be frameable to His perfect will and that I would delight in whatever His will may bring. I may indeed pray for deliverence or healing, but as I pray such things, it must be coupled with the acknowledgement and plea that His will be done, first and foremost, and that I would rejoice in that will, even if it seems contrary to my initial longings.

Mental meanderings such as this might prompt the question–”Well, how do I know God’s will? How can I pray for something I don’t even know?” I used to get frustrated and worried that I would not “find God’s will for my life.” Then I realized–the Lord reveals His will in His Word! No, there is no where written, “Sherry must do this. It is My will for her.” But the principles He has laid out and the desires of His heart are there. The more I get to know the Lord, the more I know His will. I may not see His plan written for me in stone or even on paper for that matter. But as I get to know Him, His will becomes written on my heart. (A phenomenon which you really can’t experience or understand until you allow Him to work so in your own life!)

Today’s Puritan prayer ended with the thought, “There is no wrath like the wrath of being governed by my own lusts for my own needs.” The work of prayer–both the work it is for me to do it correctly and the work it does in my own life–is something I’m just beginning to understand. I wonder if prayer is truly prayer that does nothing more than serve as a soapbox for me and my ranting petitions? Prayer, simply put, is talking with God. But, I wonder if it’s not something we can liken to earthly relationships. If I came to my parents, as a child, with an attitude or a griping spirit, they did not take me seriously and sometimes refused to listen to what I had to say–and wisely so. I do the same thing with my students! But if I came to my parents, recognizing they were wiser and deserved respect (just as I want my students to behave towards me!), then I received an audience. Perhaps, our Lord waits for us to show the same reverence and desire for His will above our own before He will give us that which we ask for. And, once we have placed ourselves under this will, He knows we will be content with His answer–which, of course, He knew we needed all along. He simply wanted to get us to realize it, too–ever making us more like Himself.

What a blessing and privilege to serve a God Who is alive and Who hears and answers our prayers.